Light Novel Review: A Certain Magical Index, Volume 1: The one part that actually focuses on the title character.

Light Novels... yeah, bar a select few I'm not a fan. In general, I'd tended to notice most of them are amateurish in terms of the quality of writing, and so many of them are just the same shit over and over again. Often times, they seem like the kind of stuff that I wouldn't mind as a one-shot, but often they go on for longer than that and the initial appeal quickly vanishes. This is not helped by how often they aim for the lowest common denominator, with no depth for me to properly make me care.

It's part of the reason why, in general, I tend to either stick with authors that have garnered legitimate praise from the professionals or just stuff that is weird enough to peak my interest. Otherwise, I'll drop it because it isn't worth my time. Insert SAO Joke here, and no, I don't care if the later Novels are better: I gave it 8 Volumes and bar Volume 7 (Which was honestly pretty decent) it squandered any potential the premise might've had. Also, Log Horizon did it better anyways.

Which in turn brings us to Toaru Majitsu No Index, by Kamachi Kazuma. Given all of what I've said, the very fact that I took a look at this may seem baffling... and you're right. So, what inspired me to Read it? Well...

Yup, leave it to my all time favorite Light Novel, Durarara!!, to make me interested. This scene wasn't in the Novel, but it's so in-character for this guy it might as well have been. To see Kadota Kyohei, the only man in the main party to have any shred of normalcy (Bar Celty, but that's besides the point) enjoy this, I was like "Wait, is it really any good?". And so, once I got some free time as I was going on a trip, I read the first Volume on on an airplane ride flight and... yeah, this is how I got into this mess. That said, it'll also become clear why I stuck through with this series whereas others I dropped. Thus, let us get into the beginning of a series... that probably got just a few too many spin-offs.

Our tale begins with our hero running away from a gang of delinquents. Oh and speaking of him:

Meet Kamijou Touma, the guy with no luck
but lots of misfortunes

FYI, I'm using illustrations from later Novels to introduce some of these guys, so they may look a bit weird compared to ones from earlier Novel's I'll also be showing. Unfortunately the Anime is stuck with the earlier designs.

To be more exact, said delinquents don't exactly have running gear and are totally drunk, so after a while he does manage to shake them off. He's a pretty good sprinter as we come to learn, so while dealing with this is a massive hassle, it does end after a while... but not before PikaPika-Tan is there to give him nightmares.

Actual Name: Misaka Mikoto. In spite of being Second Best Girl,
 the author has her stuck in her school uniform.

Yeah, let's wind back a bit. Before this mess started Kamijou went to buy some Manga and found some delinquents surrounding her. But he didn't do so to save her, oh no, he wanted to save them. Bitch's freaking scary yo! Oh and she's a blood knight too, for good measure, so yeah, he ain't shaking her off.

The Narration then gives us some exposition. The Location is Academy City, in which, in the narrator's own word, people are turned into Manga Protagonists (AKA Espers). Well, more like 40% of them anyways. The remaining 60% can't even bend a damn spoon without making their blood vessels burst out.

Misaka then gives us a science lesson about Railguns. She then uses a coin to show what it'd be like to get shot by one. Okay, he doesn't shoot it to him, but the point still stands! Either way, yeah, she's an electromaster, and then she then decides to shoot some lightning at him, and he's hit by it... and he's totally fine.

Actually it's the opposite. Plus Kamijou is an actually decently written character, who while not great is leaps and bounds better than freaking Dumbluck. Plus, Kamijou has the better catchphrase that better summarizes his luck. Here are some uses of it:

Mind you, he does get lucky sometimes, but from his point of view the very fact he got into the situation in the first place negates whatever good luck he may have in the actual events.

Anyhow, the actual reason for that is Kamijou's right hand. For whatever reason it, nicknamed "Imagine Breaker", which is actually written as "Illusion Killer" (I love double meanings), can negate anything that is remotely supernatural in origin.

Actually the whole double meaning thing pops up a lot. For instance 超電磁砲 is read as "Railgun" but is written as "Super Electromagnetic Cannon". I'll try to point out other examples of this as we see them.

Either way, the day ends an Kamijou is safe as he goes back home. And with home I mean his shitty apartment. Oh well, like all Japanese Men, he loves his Futon, so he needs to go get it from his balco-wait, why is there a Sister there?

I guess that's a way to start things off.

This is Index (Yes, that's her actual name), who might just win the prize for being one of the most annoying female leads out there! Thank goodness she has her screentime cut after a while... yes, the Female Lead had to get her screentime cut, she's that irrelevant even though she's the title character!

Anyhow, she introduces himself to Kamijou and the guy has naturally zero idea what's going on. Oh and before that she bit Kamijou's hand. This is a running gag, and while mildly amusing at first, it quickly loses its luster.

Anyhow, she says she's a Magician from the Anglican Church, she was in his balcony because she fell from a roof, and she's being chased by someone. Thankfully her clothes are basically a barrier so at least physically she's fine. Anyhow she's being chased by a Magic Cabal and-hold on, does this make any sense to you all? It doesn't? Well guess what, Kamijou also has no idea what she's talking about. Sadly, this brings me to a big issue some of these Volumes face: Expositions dumps! Now, often these are necessary for a plot, and so long as they are interesting I wouldn't mind them, but when you put one this early on it feels tiresome. We barely know our heroes for pete's sake!

Whatever the case may be, in spite of being a Magician Index can't use Magic. That said the reason they're after her is because she's the one that holds the 103000 Grimoires, hence her name as all the information is literally stored in her brain. That said she quickly proves herself to be rather smug by saying Kamijou can't even bend a spoon, when SHE'S A MAGICIAN WHO CAN'T USE MAGIC!!

Basically she's a bad example on how to do a Tsundere, and I'll just leave it at that.

Anyways, we find out the Imagine Breaker isn't an Esper Power. Apparently he's just always had it. He also reiterates the point of it being able to negate all the supernatural things, even as far as to say that the Miracles Of God are nothing to it. The resident Sister naturally scoffs at this (Though as we later find out, as a Sister she sucks at her job) and Kamijou, tired of all this crap, decides to just show her that he's not the one saying bullcrap.

Index is eager on the challenge, even saying he should try it out on her outfit, which is actually magical (Even has a cute name: The Walking Church). Kamijou does so, and her clothes explode, leaving her naked... which also gets a special illustration.

In the interest of good taste, I will not show this image. Which leads me to wonder WHAT THE HELL!? I mean, people whine about the sheer amount of fanservice in NisiOisiN's works and... okay, he too is pretty gratuitous at points, but at least his works are so riddled with allegories and symbolism that you could argue they in some way mean something, and at least there the main character is an unashamed pervert. Also, THEY DON'T ILLUSTRATE THESE SCENES!!

Here however? It's all for the sake of gags, and it gets old fast, especially this nude crap. The only time it was funny was in a scene in Volume 12 and maybe one in Volume 1, both which I'll be covering when I get there, but besides those two times? Yeah, not at all. What's sad is that the Novels' one-off gags are usually pretty funny all things considered, it's just the recurring ones that tend to fall flat in my eyes. You can only do the same joke so many times before I get sick of it.

... But to be fair, I don't mind it in this one case.

As tasteless as the joke is, I'm willing to let it slide here because it does have a point in the narrative. The fact that the Walking Church has been destroyed pops up a few other times, and it has been used for some decent drama at times. So, in this one case I'm letting it slide... plus the worst stretch of fanservice comes in Volumes 6-11 anyways.

But yeah, this confirms that at least some of what Index said isn't complete and utter crap. She tries to put the thing back together with come safety pins and it kinda works, but ultimately she leaves as, well, Kamijou would probably get caught in the crossfire of the crap she's going through otherwise. Oh and she also points out that... well, technically speaking since the Imagine Breaker negates the supernatural... it means it's also why he has such lack of luck.

See? This series can have good jokes when it wants too.

We also get some background on Academy City, with it having been built on the Western District of Tokyo, and how (As it name implies) it's pretty much entirely comprised of schools. So really most people live in dorms... well, basically everyone.  Also, a whooping 80% of the population are students, the remaining 20% being higher ups, teachers and law enforcement... the latter of which has a lot of people that have both professions, as we eventually come to learn.

Either way, Index leaves and we cut to Kamijou being in school. It must also be mentioned that all Espers are actually ranked. Specifically, they are ranked from Levels 0-5, with them ranging from "Can barely bend a spoon" to "Freaks of nature". The previously mentioned Misaka was a Level 5 (The #3 no less) whereas Kamijou and most if not all of his classmates are Level 0. It must also be said that all law enforcement and teachers are straight up non-Espers... in spite of the impression Kamijou's Teacher leaves.

Behold, the FBI's worst nightmare!

This is Tsukuyomi Komoe, who legitimately is 30 years old. No, I'm not actually kidding you here. I guess smoking (Because of course she smokes) stunned her growth or something, but there's also a character coming up that has the opposite issue, so besides a gag, God knows why this is the case. We also meet Kamijou's only two other friends: Aogami Pierce (Not his actual name, but whatever) and Tsuchimikado Motoharu, both of whom are massive perverts and potential Lolicons.

Either way, Kamijou is too busy just thinking about Index to focus on his supplementary lessons (Yeah, he tends to skip classes), which does eventually give him some trouble. Later on he walks back home, having another encounter with Misaka along the way. I would like to take this chance to mention that the Novels' early art is hair-pullingly basic. It gets a lot better as time goes on, in particular being able to use the fact that the illustrations are in black and white for some very striking imagery, but stuff like this doesn't really work in early Volumes.

See what I mean?

To give bigger insight into my complaint with this particular image: The brightness in the part Misaka is in is too high, the backgrounds lack detail and the facial expressions feel somehow both over-exaggerated and under-exaggerated and the same time.

Anyways, they have a small scuffle but ultimately Kamijou is still distracted by what happened earlier with Index, and even then he makes it out  unharmed as really when facing someone who relies so heavily on supernatural powers it's basically a guaranteed win for him. When that isn't the case... well, more on that later on. Though honestly, were it not for the fact that Misaka eventually becomes a recurring character, you'd end up wondering why this scene was even in this Novel.

He eventually does leave however, later on arriving at the hallway of his dorm and finding some cleaning robots circling around trying to clean something. Specifically Index, of course. She probably collapsed from hunger after all. It would explain why she doesn't seem to react to the robots or why she's resting in a... giant... pool... of blood...

Well... that escalated quickly. And indeed, once he moves the robots away. A new figure appears. I should mention Index is 15 right now, though this hasn't been said yet. A man eventually comes and the narration explicitly says that, in spite of being 2 meters tall, said man is probably around 14, having a somewhat youthful face.

So let me show you the fine picture of a 14 year old.

Oi! Oi!

Oh and he smokes too. Apparently there was some miscommunication between the artist (Haimura Kiyotaka) and Kamachi, so Haimura was left with the impression this guy was older than Kamijou (Who's 16, by the way). At the very least his Voice Actor in the Anime kinda made him sound his age... oh and I'm using an Illustration by Kogino Chuuya here rather than Haimura like I have been for everyone else because Chuuya's art rocks, but more on that when I get to looking at Index's Manga (Which should happen after I Review Volume 6, but that's for later).

Either way, this is Stiyl Magnus (Yeah, Kamachi's naming sense is ridiculous. Actual native speakers have said his Japanese names aren't much better), and indeed he is a Magician looking for Index. Kamijou, blaming himself for this, asks why the hell they injured Index to begin with. Stiyl points out that it wasn't actually him who attacked her but rather someone named Kanzaki, but anyhow, the reason they want her is because the Grimoires in her head. Basically she has literally perfect memory, thus had all the information shown to her and, well, she can't really forget it.

Technically speaking, this is actually kind of based off a real life concept known as Eidetic Memory, the ability to recall something with absurdly high precision. Though it would also be more accurate to say she has photographic memory, given that she's able to remember texts, numbers and the like in greater detail. That said, true photographic memory doesn't exist, but hey, this is more or less just a real concept exaggerated, so I can accept that... mostly.

Anyhow, it becomes clear Stiyl is a firebender, which mea-

... Okay, I'll admit I had that one coming.

Anyhow, yeah, he creates a sword made of flames, and Kamijou freaks out over whether or not the Imagine Breaker will work as technically he hasn't used it in anything that isn't an Esper power... apparently having forgotten that HE DESTROYED A MAGICAL SET OF CLOTHES WITH IT!!

Did I mention the writing of the early Index Volumes can sometimes be on the sloppy side of things?

Whatever the case may be, it does ultimately work, and Stiyl totally freaks out over this sudden event. Eventually he's forced to use his trump card, Innocentius, a giant fire titan that is surely badass as hell, like some hype as fuck Summon from Final Fantasy. This is what Haimura's sketches show him as:

Hard to believe he's come such a long way as an artist, to be honest...

But yeah, it strikes at Kamijou, yet surprisingly the Imagine Breaker doesn't auto negate it. Well, it does, but the moment it's negated it automatically revives. So basically he's done for. Thankfully Index wakes up and begins speaking in a weirdly calm voice. She explains that there's been runes put all around the place and so long as those remain, Innocentius won't disappear.

Kamijou barely manages to escape. He considers calling Anti-Skill (Basically Academy City's police) and run away, but ultimately decides not to do so. Still though, he does ask himself a pretty understandable question: Why hasen't the fire alarm turned on yet? Ah, you can just feel the lightbulb turning on in his brain.

And so the fire alarms in the building all turned on. Naturally this doesn't do anything to the giant fire summon... but it does work for all the paper runes in the building. Thus, Innocentius is officially innocent of burning anything down as Kamijou just one-shots it before punching Stiyl into unconsciousness.

... What? did you think I'd do a Falcon Punch Joke? Nah, that's for Volume 15.

Ah, your anger gives me so much joy...

Either way, Kamijou gets Index out of there. He obviously can't take her to an ambulance (She doesn't have an ID), so he asks if there's anything in those books that can help her. There is but Kamijou's power prevents him from using it... no, not the Imagine Breaker, I mean his Esper powers. Even for a Level 0, the alterations done to Espers make it so using Magic is a really bad idea. We'll see why next Volume.

Of course, so long as they aren't espers, they can use Magic, which leads Kamijou to taking her to Komoe. And he knew her address because Aogami had it. Why did Aogami have it? I dunno, maybe he's God or something. But yeah, her room is naturally a mess of beer and cigarettes. See? Told ya she was 30.

But yeah, she tricks her into helping out, after which we get a really long scene detailing the whole healing process. I'm gonna skip over it, not because it's gross or anything, but because it takes a while before it ends and we need to get going to the rest of the book given that we're barely halfway through.

Once it's all over, Index's symptoms have reduced to what's basically a cold, although knowing Japan this still seems pretty lethal to me. Kamijou tries to lie his way out of Komoe's questions but let's face it, Kamijou's a pretty bad liar. Either way, he manages to at least convince her to not tell the authorities about this little event. Also, Index explains it'd be really dangerous to ask her to use Magic again, so they won't be able to do this little stunt again.

We get some exposition about the history of the church, and also reiterate the fact that Index is basically a bomb with all the content in her head. The actual grimoires aren't what matter, it's the content, and Index has literally all of it. Should someone ever acquire such power they'd be able to twist reality to their whims, a Magic God (Not Demon God as Yen Press' official release calls it) as she calls them. But what are the chances of ever running into one, huh!?

But yeah, Kamijou ultimately earns her trust in a scene that's kinda preachy but it could be worse (And it will get worse). That said, the two are still being observed by Stiyl and the previously mentioned Kanzaki, full name revealed to be Kanzaki Kaori. They have some ominous dialogue and foreshadowing but that's besides the point. Honestly, when I first read this scene I expected this to start happening.

We cut ahead a few days, with Kamijou and Index going to a bathhouse. They have a small conversation that eventually leads to Index pointing out that as far as she remembers she's always been in Japan, explaining why she can speak Japanese so well... except not as she then points out that apparently she only came to Japan a year ago. I say apparently as, guess what? She has amnesia!

After a few unfunny jokes the two continue to make their way towards the bathhouse and Index ends up walking ahead. In the way though, Kamijou notices that he hasn't really seen anyone around... and he's right as he's literally all alone bar one lady in the distance who does not look friendly.

Proto Boobie Lady: She may not be a MILF, but
does posses a supreme Onee-Sama energy.

This is the previously mentioned Kanzaki. I forgot to mention that all Magicians have Magic Names that when said often means a declaration to a duel to the death, yet Kanzaki refuses to do so. The fight goes on for a while, so let me re-establish a little something. You know how I said that anyone who has an extreme over-reliance on supernatural powers is pretty much screwed against Kamijou a lot of the time? Well, that does ask the question: What about people like that who don't just rely on those powers?

The answer is simple: He's screwed.

Kanzaki just mops the floor with him. We eventually find out she's flat out superhuman and it shows. Kamijou doesn't land a single blow on her, in fact his only shot was using the Imagine Breaker to destroy that sword of hers... which fails because that's just a regular sword, so yeah, he bleeds a lot for doing something like that. All the while she just calmly tells him to give up.

Kamijou then just tells her to shut up and that, well she's making no sense. She's hesitating to kill him right now, yet before she didn't even hesitate to nearly kill Index. That she has all the power in the world and she's doing nothing to help her. Kanzaki's answer? Simple. Firstly she didn't mean to kill Index (She thought her clothes' shield still worked) and secondly and most importantly, if she doesn't do this... Index will die.

She explains that 85% of Index's brain possesses the 103000 grimoires, all the while the remaining 15% is for her actual memories. However her perfect memory makes it so she can't discard any useless information, so that remaining 15% fills up in a year and her memories must be deleted, otherwise there'll be too much junk in her brain and won't be able to function.

Oh how have I been waiting for this. To put it bluntly: THE HUMAN BRAIN DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT!! Here's the thing, the human brain has different kind of memories. In this case, the knowledge of the Grimoires would probably occupy her semantic memory, all the while the memories they're talking about would be episodic memory. Now we're never told exactly how Index came to know the contents of the grimoires, so we don't know if she just calmly read them or had all of it forced onto her brain at once. The latter could've caused some brain damage, but even then, it's not as if one kind of memory can overwhelm the other! To put it bluntly, Kanzaki? You're full of shit!

Kamijou however isn't being the most helpful either. He says that if she actually cared about Index, she should've tried out to see some help from someone else, maybe even asking the Science people, but the scene just goes on and on and on and on and on until it's firmly worn out its welcome. Kamijou's speech in particular could've had a few lines cut and nothing would've changed! His little speech is by far the worst part in this Novel and a demonstration of Kamachi's inexperience at the time of writing.

Ugh, whatever, rant over. Kanzaki knocks him out. Kamijou does eventually wake up... 3 days later at least. His wounds are gonna take a bit to heal but he's otherwise fine. Also, remember that thing I mentioned that Index was acting weirdly calm? Yeah, she refers to that as having "Awakened", but whatever. After a mildly amusing joke of Index trying to feed Kamijou, Komoe comes in with the other two Magicians. Index insists on them just taking her on the grounds that Kamijou is left alone, but they dismiss it.

No, instead they give Kamijou a warning before leaving: There is only 12 Hours and 38 Minutes left. Still though, for Kamijou it is quite the tricky thing to do because... well, he doesn't really feel all too comfortable with the idea of erasing her memories. And to be fair to him, I can understand that. Now if only he could understand that maybe Kanzaki and Stiyl were feeling the same way, but to be honest that is an actual character trait of his: He doesn't care why you may be doing it, if you're messing up someone else's life that excuse does not matter.

Anyways, at night Kanzaki calls him, telling him of some extra conditions and also telling him she's willing to give him a bit more time so that he properly say goodbye, somewhat trying to comfort him by telling him that she has been in this situation before and that when she was told this, she at least tried to make what little time they had left worth it once she realized there was no magical solution to this. Kamijou however asks why she didn't bother just trying to find a way to save Index from a scientific point of view. Frankly I can explain why with the following image:

For the record, yes, the higher ups in Academy City are amoral enough to do this.

He still scoffs at it, and... yeah, these parts are what drag the story down for me. I get what Kamijou is saying, and to an extent kinda agree with it, but the problem ultimately lies in that, well, this is pretty much a repetition of his fight with Kanzaki, at least on the verbal side of things. And again, the scene drags on for longer than it actually needs to.

Which is sad because the ensuing moment of Kamijou trying to find a solution only to realize he's out of time is pretty well done. It's brief and doesn't overstate its welcome, yet accomplishes what it sets out to do quite well. That's why early Index is so frustrating: There's a lot of good stuff, but you have to deal with a ton of bad stuff as well.

However, we then start getting into the part that actually did end up making me like this Novel in spite of its issues.

Stiyl and Kanzaki comes in, with Kamijou once again trying to make them give him a bit more time. Stiyl, however, just brings him towards Index to show him in how much pain she's in right now, and just asks him one thing: Can he truly see her like this and take such a massive gamble? By this point all of his excuses are shut down, and Kamijou feels truly powerless. God's Miracle's are nothing to him, but this one girl right in front of him is one he can do nothing to help.

And so, Stiyl does agree to one thing: He does give him time to say goodbye. And indeed, in spite of my dislike of Index, the following scene is truly touching, with Kamijou promising lots of things to her he knows he probably won't be able to give her when all is said and done. And indeed, notices how bullcrap it is that 15% of her brain can only hold one year of memori-Wait, what?

He... he notices how strange this is as, well, otherwise she would've died when she was 7... and asks Komoe over the phone... and says basically the same thing I said earlier. The Novel... admitted that was bullcrap!?

This... this was the scene that sold me on the series. The ability to create bullcrap science that doesn't make sense is one  thing. The fact that they're willing to go and say "Yeah, that's bullcrap" makes me forgive the previous bout of stupidity. Well, not so much Kamijou's rambling, but Kanzaki and Stiyl? All is forgiven.

But yeah, now that Kamijou knows the Church were just manipulating the other two, it's time to take action. But how, exactly? I mean, Kamijou has touched Index many times before. Through some logic I don't entirely understand, Kamijou realizes it must be on the back on her throat... and all of the sudden she turns into what is later Dubbed her "John's Pen" Mode.

I mean, that's the impression this leaves me.

Well, okay, that's not actually accurate. It's actually a self-defense mode in case anyone should figure out that the memory thing is all a ruse that makes zero sense. To put it in the simplest terms possible, it turns her into a Murakumo Unit before Murakumo Units were even a thing to begin with.

You know, mentioning that has made nothing
but remind me of how much better a character Noel is.

Mind you, this does make Kamijou realize the whole "Can't use Magic" thing is also a lie, so basically now it's all a matter of getting that damn hand close to her. Easier said than done since now she's throwing stuff like pillars of light, which are hard to even Negate completely. Stiyl and Kanzaki come in, and a quick explanation from Kamijou plus the scene in front of them is enough to make them realize they've been fooled, thus finally assisting our protagonist.

Even Kanzaki joins the fun, revealing her Magic Name: Salvare000... yeah given her backstory as revealed in Volume 4, I can see why she may not be a fan of it. Oh and we're also explained that the pillars of Light are equivalent to the power of the breath of the Dragon of St George. For those not in the know, said dragon looked like this:

So powerful even a 1* Servant had some problems with him!

Still though he does make his way through eventually, but there's a slight problem. See, there's some feathers of light falling from the sky the moment he was damn close to Index. Kamijou knows they are probably really dangerous, yet at the same time knows this is gonna be his one chance to save Index. So, he does the most unambiguously heroic thing he's done the whole story, finally destroying the damn thing that's been ruining Index's life... and being hit by a shit ton of magic in the process. This... this is the death of Kamijou Touma.

A few days later:

Yeah, we aren't done yet. We see Index in a hospital with a character I shall from now on refer to as Doctor Geckota. She has a letter with her too, which has Stiyl being a massive Tsundere towards Kamijou. Speaking of Kamjou, how is he?

Well... as the doors open to his room... he has amnesia. A bunch of his brain cells were fried, so his background is a complete blank. He does not even remember Index in the slightest. The story of the girl who was cursed to lose her memories ends with her savior suffering the same fate in a cruel twist of dramatic irony... or is it!?

Nah! He's fine. He did lose his memories for a while, but since it is Magical Damage, the Imagine Breaker can just negate it. Index is understandably not happy, and after biting him some more, leaves the room so that Kamijou can finish healing up. Well, way to ruin a perfectly ironic ending.

Except not really. As he admits to Doctor Geckota, he really does have amnesia. He's just lying so as not to make Index Worry. As said before, the old Kamijou Touma is dead, and this new guy just got told what happened from the Doctor, who was told the basics by Kanzaki and Stiyl. Pre-Amnesia Kamijou ain't comming back, and the new one can't help but see what had been told to him as almost like reading a diary of someone else.

Still though.. it was an enjoyable yet heartbreaking one. So he's decided to live the life the old Kamijou Touma left behind. And hey, if there's one thing he's sure off,  even if he's forgotten the actual events, the feelings that he had are certainly still there.

And that ends the first Volume of A Certain Magical Index. It's got its flaws and overall it's just barely okay, but you know what? It did show promise. Compared to, say, Kawahara Reki, who bar the initial concept his writing is often uninspired and not interesting at all, Kamachi at least shows the minimum level of competence, and most of the issues can be ultimately boiled down to simple inexperience.

And while this was a nice ending... it's clear there's more to this story than what only this shows. After all, what was up with that Bug Zapping Middle Schooler? What is even going on in Academy City? And of course, how will this new Kamijou Touma adapt to the life given to him? All of that, my friends, is for some other day.

RPG Review: Tales Of Symphonia, Part 1: The Journey Begins

I guess this one needs a bit of an introduction. The Tales Series is a Long Running Action RPG Franchise by Bandai Namco, and it's basically their equivalent of Final Fantasy. That's admittedly a bit of an overstatement, but it's as simply as I can put it. It's actually on its 25th Anniversary at the time of writing, and the series has seen overall worldwide success.

Things you'll have to get used to in this Series: 1) Being the Chosen One Sucks. 2) Racism Everywhere. 3) One of your Party Members will be a terrible, terrible cook. 3) Magitek. 4) Religion is Evil. 5) The villains often have a deeper reason for doing the stuff they do. And finally 6) Get used to look up translation guides!

Seriously the Amount of Unlocalized Games is ridiculous: Tales Of Rebirth, Tales Of Destiny's PS2 Version (Which is the currently canonical one), Tales Of Destiny 2, Tales Of Innocence, and a few others. Hell, even the original Tales Of Phantasia counts as this, as the only version that has been localized is the absolute worst one of them all!

But that's besides the point. I should mention that my experience with the series is... limited at best. I have only played 3 games total: Phantasia, Symphonia, and Symphonia's sequel, Dawn Of The New World. I played Phantasia first, but honestly it's been a while so I'll need to replay it before I review it. Thus my first Tales Review will be of the first game that most people played: Tales Of Symphonia.

I should mention something important when it comes to this game: Versions. There are 4 Versions of Note that are available: The original Gamecube Version, the PS2 Version, the PS3 Version included in Tales Of Symphonia Chronicles and the Steam Version. The PS2 Version was a port that, due to the PS2's hardware, ran at 30 Frames Per Second in contrast to the Gamecube's 60. To make up for it, it added some new content. At the time, this was acceptable, Unfortunately the latter two Releases are direct Ports of the PS2 Version including being locked at 30 FPS.

So then, are there any benefits to buying these versions over the original Gamecube Release? Well, it depends. The PS3 Version has no fix for the 30 FPS issue, but to be fair it does come with  Dawn Of The New World, so technically you're getting to games in one. Steam doesn't have Dawn Of The New World, but to be fair there is a Mod somewhere that does restore the game to 60 FPS. Truth be told though, this is mostly an issue if you played the Gamecube Version first. I myself didn't know about this issue until about I was halfway through the game and it never really bothered me.

Ideally I'd say get the PS3 Version, but the Steam Version is an acceptable substitute, and the Gamecube Version is a fair buy too. I can't recommend the PS2 Version though... namely because it's Japan Only. For the sake of this Review, however, I played the Steam Version as any non-Steam game is hideously overpriced in my country.

Anyhow, the  game begins with what all RPGs start with: Narration! Well, okay, not all of them, but at least a surprising lot of them. Anyways, as Ikari Gendo or Liquid Snake (It depends on the language) tells us, many years ago, there was a tree that granted Mana to the world. But like always, there was a war and it withered away, which required the sacrifice of a hero. A Goddess was so distraught by this that she disappeared leaving a message to her angels: That she must awaken, or else the world will fall into ruin. And thus began the Journey Of Regeneration:

Gee where have I heard this plot before...

Yeah, that's the other thing the Tales series is known for. The plots start out really cliche before getting really, really dark and deconstructive with the many tropes it initially played straight.

Anyhow, we then cut to our hero being asleep in class while holding water. Said hero is Lloyd Irving, and since he pretty much has "IDIOT HERO" written in his forehead it's up to the resident Shota in the room, Genis (Known in Japan as Genius) Sage, to answer the teacher's questions. This basically evolves into an exposition dump that the ancient hero, Mithos, ended a war in a holy place called Kharlan, afterwards making a pact with the Goddess Martel to seal away the evil Desians. And yet they're back now.

See, the thing holding them back is a seal, and every so often the seal is weakened so they come back. Today however, is the day in which the Chosen One will receive an Oracle from the Goddess. In this case, it's the group's resident blonde, Colette Brunel. She then explains that she has to go on a journey to reawaken a bunch of Summon Spirits and pass the Trials of a Goddess, restoring the world's Mana (Hence the name of the Journey of Regeneration).

Oh and lack of Mana also means droughts and lack of food. 'Cause why not by this point.

Anyhow, after that convenient exposition dump, a light shines down, and so the teacher (Genis' older sister Raine/Refill Sage) goes to check what's up. You can then walk around, but before that, let's discuss something: The menu's options.

Three things must be taken into account, bar the usual stuff like Items, there's also the matter of Artes... well, okay, they're called Techs here, but every other game calls them Artes, thus I shall refer to them as such here. Anyhow, they're your Special Skills. Everything, from a beam of energy to a really strong slash to a volcano is treated as an Arte, and naturally they consume TP. How do you get TP Back? Well, the first answer is obviously Items, but that's to easy. No, the main way you'll be getting it back during dungeons is with cooking.

Yes, the series has a dedicated cooking mechanic,and it's also accessed through the menu. Get the ingredients and pray it turns out fine. Now for the most part most of your Teammates are Competent Cooks so it'll work, but then there's a white haired devil we'll be getting later.... but that's besides the point. They restore a certain percentage of TP and HP depending on the food, and by finding a mysterious gourmet hidden in a bunch of places, you unlock more recipes.

The third is the Status Screen. For the most part it's the usual fair, but then there's the matter of Titles. Your character will have a title assigned to them, however as the game goes on you'll get other ones that you can swap around. And these are actually important, by the way, as they modify your stats.
Bar that it's the usual though. I just had to get that out of the way so when I get into the individual characters you get what I'm saying. Speaking of which...

Lloyd Irving:

CV: Konishi Katsuyuki/Scott Menville

Lloyd is your run of the mill warrior in RPGs. Bar a few exceptions, all of his Artes are based on Physical Strikes, and in turn has higher than average HP as he'll often have to get close and personal. His damage output is also decently high, and overall, there'd rarely be a time in which he won't be a valuable Party Member. He was pretty much the one character that, unless the plot demanded it, was always a part of my Party.

Anyhow, you can talk to everyone, but really you just need to head out. The previously mentioned Genis and Colette try to stop him... but in the long run they decide to tag along. On that note:

Genis/Genius Sage:

CV: Orikasa Ai/Colleen Villiard

Genis is a straight up Black Mage. His physical stats suck but he has a decently high amount of TP and he'll be using them a lot, to put it bluntly. Sadly due to the way you get Artes and the fact that his Casting time is just a tad too slow for my taste, I quickly discarded him.

Colette Brunel:

CV: Mizuki Nana/Heather Hogan-Watson

I don't really know how to classify Colette. Her physical ones tend to alternate between what they can do and her Magic Artes are all Light Based and they alternate between stuff like Status Buffs to getting the almighty Judgement.

Not that one!

Anyhow, she wasn't too useful once I got to a certain point, but I did go back to her eventually to farm some money, as she has a trick that will make getting it a joke.

So... remember what I said about getting Artes? Generally speaking, the basic ones you get by simply leveling up. Wanna get past the basic ones? Well, get ready to use those basic ones upwards of 50 TIMES to do so!

Now, this is mostly not too bad, but this those cause that, even though all your Party Members Level up even when not battling, they'll still be rather far behind. This isn't so much a complaint though, as it is more of a warning: Decide on a Main Party as soon as possible.

Setting that aside, however, we run into another series tradition: Skits. While you wander around you'll come across some little prompts that tell you to Press Select or something like that. Do so, and you'll be treated to a little scene with some portraits of the characters talking it out. This is also from where some of the funniest moments in the game come...

... Sadly that leaves to my first of two big issues with the Dub. I should mention that for the most part it's really solid overall, and as you can tell from Scott Menville of all people being here they got some actors that don't really appear in JRPGs too often, but for whatever reason they didn't Dub the Skits because... because I have no idea. And apparently this isn't the only game in which that's the case.

Oh and the second of those complaints is the way they pronounce some names, by the way (Seriously, why did they use the Japanese pronunciation of Yggdrasil instead of the English one!?)

Anyhow, we can finally leave the schools, but the evil Desians have made their way towards the temple. And unfortunately, the city we're in, Iselia, has a non-Aggression Agreement with them, so technically they can't do anything. However as our heroes head out they're attacked by... a giant floating skull...

What am I even...

Err, never mind, apparently it's the overworld avatar of a Zombie... look, this game is from 2003.

However this does bring us to the Combat System. 

A rough idea of how battles will look like.

As said before, this is an Action RPG, with your Party Members being AI Controlled, though you can set general strategies for them. Besides that, you can attack, block, jump, backstep and so on. Artes are used by pressing O or B and then a certain direction with the analog stick. It's simple, but ultimately it works. As a bonus, you can even switch the character you control mid-battle with the push of a button.

That said, I do have an issue with it: Over Limit. Over Limit is basically a super mode your characters will get into if they're hit enough. In it Artes cost less TP and you don't stagger when hit. The problem is that the indicator for this isn't too big until you're close to activating it, and given how many high level stuff is tied to it, that's a big problem. Technically speaking the character's portrait does get brighter, but frankly I wasn't really able to tell too much of a difference myself.. Combined with the fact it doesn't last too long, it's kind of a bitch to know when it'll trigger or not.

Anyhow, once our heroes win, you'll be able to head off into the world map... and really there aren't too many places to go, so just go to the temple. In it, the light continues to shine down, but there's some commotion going on and the Grand Priest comes down the stairs... only to die as soon as he explains that the evil Desians broke their own rules... yeah, I can see why Lloyd hates them.

As they go up the stairs, they find the evil Desians, led by a man named Botta, threatening an old lady... but then this happens.

Keep this in mind, it'll become important later.

Anyhow, feel free to beat them down, but after you do so they'll retreat, bringing in their big guy, who is just too strong, even for our heroes. So of course, it's time for a heroic second wind!

Hello, I'm the one character from this game everyone remembers,
I'm stealing your screentime.

Yes, a mysterious stranger has come to the rescue. And with him, the other dude ends up being a joke. The bad guys retreat, and this mysterious redhead acts like your standard mysterious Anti-Hero. Even having an item known as an Exsphere (More on them later). The trials seem to be nothing out of the ordinary though, just a bunch of monsters.

Still though, the priests that would've helped are now dead, so Lloyd proposes to help. Sadly, the old lady doesn't trust him too much, but the other guy instead just says that so long as he's paid, he'll protect the Chosen One. Oh and his name is Kratos, by the way.

This one?

NOT THAT ONE! This is a character that is actually well written. Hell, their names aren't even pronounced the same (This one is pronounced KRA-tos instead of KRAY-tos). Anyhow, the old lady (Who is actually Colette's grandmother) agrees, but  Lloyd insists on coming, and after a while even the withered mercenary is like "Fuck it" and lets him go along. Which also means he's joined the party:

Kratos Aurion:

CV: Tachiki Fumihiko/Cam Clarke

Kratos is a jack of all trades. Dude can do anything: White Magic? Check. Black Magic? Check. Sword Skills? Check! Dude can do anything, which combined with his high stats makes him a powerhouse in the early game. Hell, eventually he too learns Judgement!... Though for reasons that will become apparent later chances are you won't actually be able to use it.

Anyhow, we're also now inside the dungeon!

Martel Temple:

Sadly, I wasn't able to find any interior shots.

One thing need to be mentioned before we continue. Firstly, all enemies actually appear onscreen so there are no random encounters. Which, yeah is really nice. But then again I'm one of those people who never truly minded Random Encounters, so it isn't that big a deal for me.

Anyhow, the main door is locked, so we have to go and get a Sorcerer's Ring. And while it's easy to find, you'll have to complete a block puzzle to get it. It's no biggie though, and hey, it lets you beat up a Golem for some easy EXP!

Oh yeah, forgot to mention, Colette is a bit of a Klutz. Get used to it.

Anyhow, once finished you can go get the Sorcerer's Ring. With it you can do some slight interactions with the environment and, more importantly, stun enemies so you don't have to go into battles if you're low on health. Anyways, make your way back to open a gate with the ring to then go to the altar. At the bottom of which is a Cruxis Crystal (More on then when they become relevant).

However from the top, in the form of a shining light an Assho-I mean Angel appears. Also, due to the fact Colette is the Chosen One, said Angel is considered her real father. She then tells her her mission: To unleash all the Seals and then make her way to the Tower Of Salvation. And indeed, after that he just... leaves. Man, talk about a literal exposition fairy...

Anyhow, it's time to make our way back, but I dunno guys, it feels as if we're forgetting something...

Oh yeah, that....

Anyhow, after that, our heroes leave... but not before hearing Raine laughing like a madwoman. Yeah, girl's got some screws loose to say the least. Oh and in a Skit Lloyd decides to keep the Sorcerer's Ring because why not? Anyhow, over at Colette's house preparations  to leave, and Lloyd once again insists to go too. Kratos however just tells him he'd be in the way.

To be fair, it's hard to say he doesn't have a point. This is a journey to save the world and Lloyd is but an amateur. Though as they leave Colette tries to apologize for that man's rudeness, but they don't really blame her for that or anything. On that note, it's Colette's Birthday today! As such it's time for presents, with Genis giving her some cookies, and Lloyd... forgot about it.

Dammit Lloyd, you're just proving Kratos' point...

Still though, he does promise to have it done by tomorrow. Either way, it's time to swing by Genis' house, in which he gives us a small tutorial on cooking, which I have already explained. Over at the exit, Lloyd's pet thing Noishe is causing a bit of a ruckus. Noishe will be very useful, as we'll see later. Oh and speaking of ruckus, one of the guards ask Lloyd if he's making one in one of the Evil Desian's human ranches, which he denies, and does seem pretty sincere about it.

Who isn't so sincere as we find out on the way to Lloyd's house is Genis. Mind you, from his point of view the Evil Desians already broke the treaty, so this should be fair game. And in turn Lloyd decides to tag around too just in case. In it we see standard activity in the ranches, namely humans being forced to work like slaves. Beutiful, I know.

The reason Genis is here, however is because of an old woman he befriended, Marble. She hopes the Journey of Regeneration will be successful this time, as the previous Chosen One kinda died. She also has an Exsphere in her hand as well, one without a Key Crest. To give an explanation quickly, Exspheres are basically Spheres that grant their users power boosts, and its later revealed Lloyd's is one of few perfected Exspheres... except not really but more on that later. Even then, he still needs a Key Crest as attaching an Exsphere directly onto one's body can make you sick.

Well... kinda. More on that later.

Anyhow, they decide to ask Lloyd's father for help as, well he's a dwarf (Yeah, Lloyd's adopted), and dwarfs are expert craftsmen.. Sadly before they can go there, the Evil Desians spot her, and while the other two go into hiding, she herself starts getting whipped. Thus they decide to help out, with Lloyd being a decoy all the while Genis uses his magic. It works... until Genis stumbles over,  thus forcing Lloyd to actually fight the guards.

Still though they do manage to escape, though barely. As such they finally go to Lloyd's father, Dirk. He in turn is able to see through his son's lies rather easily.

Get used to hearing these, by the way.

We're also told that Lloyd's Exsphere is actually his mother's... and that she was killed because of it. Yeah, Lloyd isn't too happy he wasn't told this until just now. Dirk tells Lloyd to not get involved with the Evil Desians, but this being Lloyd, he's not one to listen... and right outside, everyone came along and heard everything.

Oh and Kratos is by Anna's (Lloyd's mother) grave, by the way. Sure hope that never matters...

Over at the roof, Lloyd apologizes for forgetting Colette's present, but being Colette she's fine with it. Even so, Lloyd once again says he'll go with her, not only to stop the Evil Desians, but also because, well, he really wants to see her turn into an Angel. And while she does express some concern over Ramiel (The Angel from earlier) being her Father, Lloyd just tells her to not worry about it. After all, that means she has two fathers! And thus, they agree they'll meet tomorrow.

The following day Genis and Lloyd find out Colette, Kratos and Raine left without telling them.

Gotta say, this was a very successful escape plan.

Before that, I should mention Dirk did finish the Key Crest, telling his son to do whatever he wants with it. And also some Items because why not? And really only Lloyd didn't know. Genis did get to see them off at least. Either way, Colette did leave a letter apologizing, but no time for that, as the Evil Desians attack the town! Why? Because Lloyd. As Forcystus, their general, explains, Lloyd broke the Non-Agression treaty, so for them this is just the just desserts for such inferior humans.

Yeah, forgot to mention that. Most if not all Desians are Half-Elves, who in the Tales Series have a long history of being discriminated against. The Desians basically show what happens if they gained too much power after too much abuse. Also, the way they act seems to imply they weren't actually the ones after Colette, or at least not this group.

The Mayor isn't happy, to say the least. And thus the General brings out an appropiate opponent.

Exbula:

WHAT UNHOLY SPAWN OF SILENT HILL IS THAT THING!? Err... anyhow, it's a bit of a pussy, but it sure hits hard so be careful.

Once it's done, the General demands for Lloyd's Exsphere, but he naturally refuses. Yet surprisingly enough, that thing holds back the General... and then speaks in Marble's voice. Either way, after saying her goodbyes, she disappears, leaving behind an Exsphere as the others retreat. Yeah, as we later find out, this is what happens to humans who have an Exsphere inserted into them without a Key Crest, and as we later find out, what happened to Anna.

Afterwards, the Mayor, in a semi reasonable move, decides to exile Lloyd. With Genis being more than a bit distraught over these humans' behavior... oh yeah, he and Raine are Elves, forgot to mention that. Oh and then he exiles Genis too, because why not by this point. Look, even as a firm believer that sacrifices must be made, this guy's just an asshole.

Colette's family recommends they go to her, in hopes that making the world's regeneration succeed will help in some way. And indeed, it's time to leave Iselia. And thus begins a semi-long travel to the desert city of Triet. I should mention that in the overworld, there are a few Monument-Things that will let you ride Noshie to decrease travel time. Either way, over in Triet, it turns out they're already being searched, which leads to us seeing this hilariously drawn Wanted Poster.

Were they even trying?

You should probably also buy some weapons and armor by the way, things are gonna get hectic. For as the moment our heroes try to leave the town, the Evil Desians catch up to them! And while they put up a good fight, Lloyd is ultimately captured by them. Genis is let go as a courtesy.

Indeed, Lloyd is gonna be straight up executed. Still though, Checkov's Ring prooves its purpose by scaring the guard away so Lloyd can open the gate. Soon afterwards we see the first of many ring changers, which will change your Sorcerer's Ring's element, in this case to electricity, which helps open some doors.

Feel free to make your way out, but on said way, you run into some dude whose sprite makes him look like he has a mustache.

What? Don't believe me? Here's his Game Sprite:

Here's his design in the Anime:

See? No mustache! Oh and yes, I will be looking at the Anime once I finish Reviewing the game proper.

Anyhow, the man recognizes Lloyd (Well, moreso his name), however Botta reappears, saying that Colette and the others have come. Blue-Hair leaves, just in time for the cavalry to arrive. Leading us to:

Botta:

CV: Kuroda Takaya/Robin Atkin Downes

Botta isn't too fast, but the fact that he has two soldiers working with him does hinder things. Thankfully, besides that he's not too hard to take down so long as Stalagmite doesn't hit you.

Once defeated he leaves, with Raine then coming in, having opened up the escape Route. They thus escape, making their way back to Triet, in which Kratos gives some exposition on Exspheres to Raine. We also find out Raine brought some stuff from home.

Have I mentioned this woman is kinda insane?

However she did bring something useful: A Half Torn Crest that Lloyd can fix up so she can use an Exsphere. Hell, it's actually finished before the night ends. Before that however Lloyd goes out for a bit... only to also find Kratos there. The latter is in front of Noishe, though he admits to Lloyd he isn't the biggest fan of animals. Animals do seem to like him though as Noishe isn't usually keen to strangers. As for why Kratos is there, well, turns out he himself had a pet some time ago. He also gives Lloyd some advice.

And thus the morning comes and the Party sets off to more adventures, with their vigor reignited and their resolve strengthened... all the while Raine is still giving them homework. But that, my friends, is for next time.