RPG Review: Tales Of Symphonia, Part 4: The Dawn Of The New World... NOT THAT ONE!!

Last time, our heroes left Sylvarant and headed off towards a new world, and their journey continues... by crash landing because they ran out of fuel.

Hey, they couldn't have seen that coming.

Mind you Sheena could just Summon Volt and refuel them... but she kinda doesn't have Volt so that's out of the question. Also, apparently the two worlds share the same ancient history and a Tower Of Salvation. Wonder what that's all about...

Anyhow, after leaving the mountain, now the question becomes where to go. Sheena says to go to the Imperial Capital, Meltokio, which seems like their best bet for now. That said as soon as they get there, Sheena admits she's gonna have to leave. She is part of a group of Ninjas after all, so she has to admit that she has failed to her chief, though she does give the group a letter they should give to the king.

Oh, and on the way there, they come across one of the Evil Desian generals who basically comes in to say hi before leaving.

But whatever, they make their way up the stairs... and come across the best character in the game.

Indeed, such amount of swag could not be contained. So after flirting with Raine for a bit, he leaves with all his other hunnies, but not before she notices he has an Exsphere. Now, this guy may seem like an arrogant jerk... because he is, but hey, anyone who shares a voice with this idiot can't be too bad.

Anyhow, back to the plot. We are currently banned from seeing the King as apparently he's ill, so he's not seeing anyone. Stupid Nobles with too much free time... anyhow, we head to the Church... where we see some little girl calmly carrying some big lump of wood. Genis' reaction?

This is actually a running gag, so get used to it.

As Genis is off on wonderland, we find out  that this girl, Presea, has an Exsphere, and also that the wood she's carrying is going to be used to do some prayers for the king. So naturally the gang decides to just ask Presea for help, a plan Genis is all too okay with...

As they get out she's talking to someone, but after that's done with, our heroes ask for her help... and surprisingly she agrees. And even the guards are easily fooled. Man, Tethe'alla's security really sucks, huh?

Oh come on, this is an JRPG, of course children are doing all the work!

But whatever, they're inside now. And since they can't really do anything else now, Presea is tagging along with them. Speaking of her...

Presea Combatir:

CV: Kuwashima Houko/Tara Strong

Presea is a freaking tank. She moves slowly for sure, but if she lands a hit, it'll hit like a goddamn truck. She wasn't part of my Endgame Party, but she was part of a sort of Side Party alongside another Party Member I'll be talking about later on. As for general Type Recommendations, I'd say T for everything but the Devastation line, as its final evolution, Eternal Devastation, is locked to the S Type for some reason.

Her Limit Breaks are ridiculous though, in both the best and worst ways you could imagine. Infernal Ruin is pretty normal by the standards of the PS2 Exclusive Limit Breaks, all you need to do is to have used Beast 100 Times, be in Over Limit, have the P Charge EX Skill and that's it, but then there is the almighty mess that is Crimson Devastation. Get ready folks this is gonna be a doozy. Not only do you need to have used Beast 200 Times, have the Overcharge EX Skill (Basically P Charge but stronger and doesn't work half the time), be in Over Limit and must have 10% or less health but she must also be the last Party Member standing!

I mean, to be fair it can probably one-shot the Final Boss and do some massive damage to the Secret Bosses but... Jesus Christ, talk about overkill! Although it must be said, in order for her to actually be able to use either of her Limit Breaks, a certain story event must happen first. I'll point it out when we get there.

Anyhow, we get into the King's chamber... and Zelos is there. Why? He's the Chosen of Tethe'Alla of course!

Oh I wish I was kidding. Thankfully the moment the king learns they have a letter from Sheena he agrees to listen in spite of his less than stellar health right now. The Pope does try to have Colette killed but he's not exactly successful. Thus Raine strikes a deal:  They want to turn Colette back into a human. The Pope wants Tethe'Alla to remain flourishing. The two goals actually go together to and alliance is simply logical.

So the Pope agrees, though under the condition Zelos must watch over the group 24/7, which they agree with.

Although he is a massive asshole. Anyways, we have to leave Presea in her hometown, but since the Imperial Research Academy is around the same place anyways, they might as well go there first. And thus, Best Boy joins the Party.

Zelos Wilder:

CV: Onosaka Masaya/Shiloh Strong

Zelos is functionally identical to Kratos and that's not an exaggeration. He learns many of the same Skills, has similar stats, hell, they even share a Limit Break. He does however have one Limit Break Kratos doesn't have (Divine Judgement) so technically speaking he's the better of the two. Naturally, he was part of my Endgame Party. Oh and he too can learn Judgement.

Otherwise, same type recommendation as Kratos.

As said before, he shares a Limit Break with Kratos, Shinning Bind (I refuse to call it Holy Binds) and it has much less lax activation conditions, as not only must you be in Over Limit, but you must have used Demon Thrust (A pretty high Level Arte for him) at least 100 times. Thankfully his second Limit Break, Divine Judgement, onl-

... Okay, I had that one coming. Anyhow, all you need is to be in Over Limit and have used the Arte That Shall Not Be Named 20 times. I guess the low number is because you only get it once you use Shinning Bind for the first time, and you can't use Shinning Bind until right after one of the last dungeons.

Also, his Personal EX Skill makes it so whenever he talks to a woman for the first time, he gets an Item.

Whatever the case may be, we need to cross a long, long bridge first. Like... really long. Like... MGS3 Stairs Long!

As we arrive in Sybak however, Presea makes it clear she doesn't like this place, but I'm sure that won't be in any way relevant... Anyhow, over at a lab, we find out exactly what's happening. Basically Exspheres and Cruxis Crystals are basically parasytes; if you don't contain them, their energy will go out of control and affect one's body, which is basically what's happening to Colette. Thankfully the actual process of fixing this is just getting a Key Crest.

And wouldn't you know, a junk dealer has one! And Zelos nabs it for free. There's just one problem: It doesn't work. So yeah, to Sylvarant it is, and while Zelos protests against it, they then point out he can just come with them, so he relents. Unfortunately the Papal Knights then kidnap the gang.

Yeah, the pope is an asshole, in case you couldn't tell. That said, due to some technology stuff Tethe'Alla has, Genis and Raine being Half-Elves is exposed. Lloyd doesn't seem to really care, but the problem is that over in this world, Half-Elves are treated as the lowest of the low, and if guilty of crime are immediately executed.

The Human Members of the party are taken to some random lab, and we also learn that Half-Elves that work here aren't even allowed to leave. No wonder the atmosphere is so damn moody! That said, one of the researchers, Katem does recognize Presea as... well... she kinda was the subject for an experiment to fuse a Cruxis Crystal into a human body.

Said scientist is intially perplexed by his behavior, but Best Girl has come to the rescue. How did she get there? 'Cause Ninja Magic, shut up!

Still more of a ninja than these idiots...

Whatever the case may be, they escape and are able to figure out that the Pope was behind the experiments on Presea. Unfortunately, after crossing the long ass bridge, they are too late...

Then again when you can Summon a Water Elemental, that does take care of most of the issues.

So yeah, our heroes beat the guards up and save the day. Quite the happy ending huh? And hey! Lloyd and the rest admit they don't really care whether or not Genis and Raine were Half-Elves anyways!

Although Presea does know how to ruin the mood...

Anyhow, we need to fix Rheairds, so Sheena has to make a pact with Volt... which she doesn't seem to happy about. Still though, Zelos does point out that they need to get them first, and he has just enough resources for that, so off to the mountains it is! That said, on the way there, he does say this:

Needless to say, there's more to him that meets the eye...

But yeah, time to make our way up the mountain... and... well...

Yeah, the Renegades saw this coming. So naturally they prepared themselves for this situation.

Presea is in charge of most of the game's snark, by the way.

However, things go from bad to worse, as Pronyma (One of Yggdrasil's generals) pops up... and it turns out she and Yuan are working together. She says she's been sent her for Colette, something Yuan doesn't mind because, well, he's more interested in Lloyd right now. Nontheless she goes for her... and suddenly the Key Crest starts working and Colette's back to normal!

She thus saves the rest of the gang by being clumsy as usual, thus it's time to settle the score.

Pronyma:

CV: Makishima Yuki/Masasa Moyo

She would be a threat... except she's weak to light, so as long as Raine or Colette are in your party, it's not gonna be too hard. Needless to say, spamming Photon Tempest will be useful for this fight.

Naturally Lloyd then moves in to finish Yuan afterwards, but a new challanger appears!

Not a fan of this outfit, I must say.

Yeah, Kratos is here too. And Yuan's working for Cruxis as well. He leaves with his shiny angel wings, and Kratos then tells the group to stop wasting their time, because Yggdrasil's fine with the way the world is so they should stop bothering to change it. Thus Lloyd makes a statement: If Yggdrasil doesn't change the world, he will.

Kratos leaves alongside the chick we just beat up, and we cut to Colette, who's better than ever! All of the effects of Angel Toxiocis are gone, and she gets to keep her Angel powers! Mind you, they still need to take Presea home, but they kinda can't cross the bridge. But it's okay, Sheena has some contacts in Meltokio that could help them out, and Zelos has a secret entrance there!

Thus leading to... the second worst dungeon in the game.

Meltokio Sewers:

Because every videogame needs a sewer level!

Ugh, this place sucks. Dull environments,  bad music (Which is weird because most of the music in this game is really great), and boring, time consuming puzzles, not helped at all by an annoying shrinking gimmick. It's not even a hard dungeon, just an annoying one.

Anyhow, plotwise, someone has been here before, so they need to open doors that were previously opened up. In the end it turns out it was a bunch of prisioners nabbed by the pope, who promised them their freedom if they killed the party. They fail, obviously... and then some new guy knocks Zelos out.

Needless to say, this blue haired master of Tactical Espionage Action kicks Zelos' ass, although he does fall back when he sees Presea, the rest the retreating. And thankfully with that we're out of that nightmare, and we even unlock a fast travel option so we never have to go through that nightmare of a dungeon ever again.

Over at the research facility (In which there's also some dude named Kuchinawa) the gang finds out they'll have to use an Elemental Cargo (EC for short) to pass, basically being treated as package, and the scientist want to use that for some Mana experiment or something like that. Not too big a deal but a bit cumbersome, especially for Raine.

Oh and from now on Zelos will sometimes introduce Lloyd as his Bud. Which as I now know from some research, in the original Japanese Version it was "Hunnie" instead.

Bu yeah, the next morning they set off, though Colette's shoulder is feeling a bit stiff but it's probably not that big a deal. So they go to the bridge and Kuchinawa shows them what we're stuck with for now, as well as seeing the country bumpkins who are those Sylvarant Brats messing around with Tethe'alla's amazing shrinking technology, so it's time to go!

Did I mention Sheena is Best Girl?

Yeah, the guy gives her a charm or something before leaving but whatever. Sadly the EC is a pain to control, with its strange, momentum based physics and awkward acceleration. Although sadly in Sybak they come across Kratos (In his old outfit, thankfully) although he's not here to fight. He does however warn Colette to remove that Key Crest if she wants to live.

Anyhow, Kate confirms, what happened to Presea was part of the Angelus Project, and explains that should something not be done soon, she'll flat out die. Thus they need to go to a dwarf named Atlessa so that he can make a special Key Crest for her. Oh and for some reason she tells the Party not to insult the Pope. Weird... anyhow, onto the next Dungeon!

Gaoracchia Forest:

Because of course there's a forrest level.

Well, I call it a dungeon, but that's technically a lie. It's more like one really big passageway. It's honestly not too bad and even somewhat enjoyable, all things considered. Whatever the case may be, the moment you get there, you face off against some of the Pope's Knights, who aren't too much of a biggie.

However, as we reach the end, Solid Snake appears once more. He claims he's just here to talk to Presea and that he doesn't mean to kill anyone, but they don't buy it and thus a fight ensues. He's not too hard, but be careful when he attacks, as often he'll just chain his Artes together. Thankfully he'll eventually fall.

Shut up Campbell! But yeah, that happened. Anyhow, unfortunately more Papal Knights are coming, so Sheena's taking us to her village. And no, it's not Konohagakure, it's Mizuho (And by extension, no, it's not Kirigakure). Anyhow, our dear prisoner wakes up, and has enough common sense to not start a fight given his condition.

The Vice Chief then confronts our heroes (The actual Chief is in a coma, as we later learn), and while initially pessimistic, Lloyd's idealism ultimately wins him over, agreeing to help so long as they help to move the people of Mizuho to Sylvarant, with Sheena having her profession changed from being an observer to a representative of the village.

As for our beloved prisoner, whose name is actually Regal, well, they realize they need all the help they can get so they're gonna have him stick around. And besides, so long as Presea is around, he won't try anything fishy.

Thankfully, he is a man of honor.

And thus this is when we're gonna take a break for now. A new world has opened up to us, and our search for a way to solve this conflict has finally begun. But for now, the conclusion to this will be a story for another day...

RPG Review: Tales Of Symphonia, Part 3: Summons, Relationships and Other Delusions.

Last time, we recruited Best Girl. Now that we have a decent amount of the Party assembled, we need to discuss an important matter: Love.

Not like that!... Kinda.

See, Tales of Symphonia has a hidden relationship system that basically dictates a select few points in the plot. Mostly this comes into play in the final stretch of the game, in which some plot events will be dictated by who Lloyd is closer to. Characters can lose or gain points based on stuff like dialogue options, optional events and so on. Whoever is the winner will become Lloyd's Closest Ally.

So what's the problem? One word: Colette!

She starts out with an astronomically high amount of points, so shaking her off is not an easy task. Worse, she is absurdly easy to please, so often times you may want to give someone else points, but you'll also be giving her points as well. This is even worse if you're not careful, so you could have stuff like wanting to get all the stuff with, I dunno, Raine, but you get Colette instead. Even worse, there's a character later on that has the opposite issue in that he's a pain in the butt to get points, but he's like, the best character in the whole game so more than a few people would like to get all the stuff exclusive to him!

The good news is that most of the main plot stuff this depends on is reliant on one choice in one scene, so there's that, and that scene just needs the character you want to be in the Top 3. So even if Colette is Number 1, it is possible to get someone else to get all those extra moments with Lloyd. However there are still some optional scenes that are often unobtainable in your first playthrough (New Game + carries over the previous relationship values). Overall, this is one of those cases in which they probably should've thought things through a bit better.

As for who I got... well, the answer is obvious by this point, isn't it?

These two are adorable together and you know it.

Whatever the case may be, I did some grinding before heading off to my next destination... and then found out I needed 100000 Gald to pass.

Okay then, guess we're taking the long way around. First of all we need to get to Lake Umacy, in which we find, of all things, an unicorn stuck under some rubble in the middle of the sea.

Remember that, it'll be important later.

Whatever the case may be, our heroes need to do something to get its horn, but what exactly can they do to get it? They can't just swim there, Genis's Water magic isn't powerful enough, and they just don't have anything that could conceivably let them get to it. Sheena does propose just making a pact with a Summon Spirit, but it's not like they have a Summoner anyways so that's a big no.

Well... Sheena is a Summoner.

Well, okay, not exactly. She's primarily an user of Seals, but she is completely capable of use Summons should the need arise. Hell, she already has a Summon, her little pet Corrine, though she is actually an artificial Summon Spirit and not a proper one. Kratos also recommends we Obtain the Spirits of Wind and Fire as, well, since we're here already we might as well do so.

However, getting Undine, the Spirit of Water, comes first. Thus we must make our way to Izoold, which will let us go to Palmacosta. After some hijinks, our heroes do get a ride there, and are dropped off. Sadly Colette's clumsiness makes her break some assholes' potion, so now we gotta get a new one.

Surprisingly the one person who does have one is a girl in a shop who's having a scuffle with the Evil Desians, with her rightfully angry that her grandmother was taken away by them. Yeah, turns out Palmacosta really fucking hate the Evil Desians and their Governor, Dorr, is one of the few people willing to stand up against them. Anyhow, her mum offers the Party the Potion for 1000 bucks.

Although speaking of him, as we give our freshly bought potion to that group of assholes, they claim that he "Sure was trusting" and gave them his family treasure. I agree with Lloyd: They piss me off!

On a nicer note however, we see a bit of Dorr himself, comforting a young child about his father being taken away, and promising that when the chance comes, he'll go and rescue him and all others captured by the Evil Desians. For some reason I imagine this is his thought process:

We also find out he regularly looks for people to help him fight the Evil Desians, and that he has been raising his daughter all by himself since his wife died all those years ago. Truly a wonderful man.

So naturally when Colette claims she's the Chosen One, she tries to kill her.

Okay, not exactly, as Colette shows her wings he realizes she really is the Chosen One and orders his men to stand back. See, a bunch of people claiming to be the Chosen's group came a few minutes ago and he gave them the Book Of Regeneration, records of the events from previous Journey's like the current one, including the locations of all the Seals.

Genis naturally calls him naive, once more showing off his less than stellar views on humans, but Raine stops him from saying anything else, for now they're gonna  just have to go to the church to see if they know of at least some of the book's contents. They don't. Well, we're screwed.

Well, not entirely. Before, the impostors said they were planning to sell off the book, so it's off to Hakonesia Peak! And guess what, the guy with it is totally working with the guys who asked for 100000 to pass the thing in the first place. Thankfully, we do manage to convince him to let us read it, but he wants a Spiritua Statue first. But there's no time for that, as Palmacosta is being attacked by one of its generals!

Who are you and what's up with your hair!?

To be exact, the woman who sold us the potion is about to be executed, and the militia is off doing training exercises so they ain't helping this time. The angry girl from the shop tries to help her mum, but gets in trouble. Then a sassy little kid throws a rock at him and since this is not gonna end well, Lloyd finally intervenes.

In fact the whole Party intervenes, deciding enough is enough and it's time to end this insanity. Magnius leaves, and his grunts are nothing too special, if I may say so myself. The young girl thanks us, and she shows herself as a non-believer, but she is very much grateful that Colette saved her mum.

However, as we head off to the House Of Salvation to get the Spiritua Statue, a soldier comes in and tells us that our sassy young girl whose name I won't even bother to remember for reasons that will soon become clear has been kidnapped. As if that wasn't enough, turns out the Spiritua Statue got lost in the middle of a geyser of all things. We naturally agree to go get it in spite of, you know, boiling water.

Did I mention Sheena is Best Girl?

However before we go get that thing however, it's off to...

Palmacosta Human Ranch:

Get used to seeing rooms like this a lot

Before we reach there however, Neil, one of Dorr's assistants, comes out of some bushes to tell us some bad news.

Yeah, Dorr has actually been collaborating with the Evil Desians. Neil doesn't know since when, but it's probably a recent thing. Raine considers abandoning this mess, but Colette insists on going, claiming saving people and regenerating the world are not and should not exclude each other, something Lloyd agrees with.

As for the Dungeon itself, it's mostly a maze that requires you to use the Ring to change the game's color scheme to that of the OG Game Boy. It's kind of a mess. Either way, wer eventually save our sassy kidnapped girl, but before we can fight the boss... this happens.

I believe you now all understand why I hate this girl. Anyhow, onto the boss. I need to blow off some frustration.

Magnius:

CV: Kawada Shinji/Chris Edgerly

He's easy as hell as he's meant to be fought earlier in the game so... yeah, he didn't put up much of a fight.

At the end of it, Raine notices our Stupid Young Girl is gone from this place, much to my pleasure. Whatever the case may be, Raine once more decides to blow up the base... though as they leave, Magnius receives a call from his superior telling him that, well, there was no order to kill Colette. It was all a lie. Naturally, his time in hell will be one spent with many regrets.

Naturally, it's time for Dorr to give us some explanations, with Neil insisting on coming along. Naturally, he's in the underground of his little building, talking to one of the Evil Desians. And we soon find out why he's been doing this. See, remember his wife who died some years ago? Yeah, she never died. She just got turned into the same Monster Marble did.

To put it bluntly, the guy's been reduced to a self-pitying idiot, something Lloyd calls him out on, basically telling him what he truly is: A Coward. Oh and I forgot to mention, his daughter isn't actually his daughter. She had been killed and replaced by a Half-Elf impostor who stabs him in the back.

She's technically a boss but frankly she's so easy I won't even give her the usual treatment. After dying she lets loose Dorr's wife... but strangely she just leaves instead of attacking the heroes. Lloyd lies to him about his daughter being fine, but at the same time tells her he can't save her because Dorr's sacrificed so many people that saving her should be his job, not anyone else's. He ultimately dies leaving Lloyd a pass.

RIP, I guess

Neil decides that the first step to take will be to reorganize everything, with the heroes wishing him good luck before leaving... but not before Raine lamenting that even as a healer, she wasn't able to save anyone...

But who cares about that!? It's time for some hijinks!

Ah, fear of water will never not be funny in an RPG... well, something else also happens.

Again, keep this in mind for later. Anyhow, we get a pretty easy mini-game after that... and right next to it there is one of those hand-print things meaning that we didn't even need the stone for the next seal.

Ugh, whatever, NEXT DUNGEON!

Thoda Geyser:

Did you know this is the water dungeon?

This one is pretty straightforward. The gimmick here is some balances you need to move using the Ring. That's it. That said, given that this would be the second Dungeon for most people, I can understand why they may have made it this way. Overall a bit bland but not too bad. As for the boss...

Adulocia:

Again, apologies for the lack of images
of better quality

This one's pretty easy. By this point Kratos or Genis should know Thunder Blade, and this Boss is weak to Lightning. Do the math and see the light show as she dies in an instant.

Afterwards Assho-Lord Ramiel reappears, telling Colette that the only Seal left is the one at the Tower Of Salvation. And once it is all done, Colette will become an Angel. Yay...

But who cares, it's time for a Summoning Pact with Sheena! Everyone is quite excited about this, even Kratos of all people. And naturally everyone has 100% Trust on her even though they have no idea what this will entail. And indeed, trouble arises, as this Summon Spirit already has a pact with some dude named Mithos, who is totally not the Great Hero Mithos.

Mein Kaiser's expression says it all.

Kratos suggests that she just request for Undine to null his pact with this Mithos that is totally not important to this game's plot, which surprisingly enough works... with the condition that we must prove our strength first.

Undine:

CV: Sumitomo Yuko/Nika Futterman

Undine is a pain to fight, namely due to her signature spell, Spread. Unlike Genis' version, which takes some time to cast, hers can be cast almost immediately, not helped by her catastrophically high amount of HP! Patience will pay off eventually, but don't let your guard down. And for the record, you need Sheena for all of the Summon fights, so that's another reason she's almost always part of my Party.

I did however ultimately beat her, and thus Sheena fulfilled her pact and unlocked her true power: The first are her elemental Seals, which can change your characters' attack attribute to any of the elements, which can help you exploit weaknesses and sometimes even find new moves (It's the only reliable way to get all of the Elemental/Physical Hybrid Artes for certain characters, of which only a select few like Rising Phoenix and arguably Storm Dance are of any use for all the effort you need to put into getting them) however her second mechanic lies in a certain aspect of the game: Mystique Artes. Or as they should really be called and I will call them...

The conditions vary from attack to attack, but after fulfilling certain conditions your characters will be able to use a Super Move that deals a massive amount of damage. Sheena has one of the easiest ones to trigger, all she needs is to be in Over Limit mode and she can use one of her many Summons, and best of all most of them are mandatory for the story. The difficulty for the others vary, Lloyd gets his (Falcon's Crest) after a certain point in the story and by equipping a specific title and weapon, Genis' Indignation Judgement i-

... Yes, thank you very much, anyhow, it has some pretty lenient conditions of you just having to have used Indignation 50 Times and be in Over Limit,  Colette's Holy Judgement requi-

... Goddammit Shirai... anyhow, it requires her to use Holy Song and Judgement 50 ti-

For the love of-STOP INTERRUPTING ME!!

Anyways you need to use Holy Song and... the Skill That Shall Not Be Named (She'll be getting that one in a bit) 50 times each, but the chances of it activating are completely random. Don't get me wrong, it hits like a goddamn truck, but it's a bit too luck based for my liking. Raine's are kinda ridiculous however, probably due to the fact they were introduced in the PS2 Version of the game. To wit, her first Limit Break, Sacred Light, needs you to be in Over Limit and have used either Photon evolution (Ray or Holy Lance) 100 TIMES!!!

Her second one isn't much better, with you needing to be in Over Limit and used Revitalize (Raine's best Multi-Target Healing Arte) 100 Times as well, but to be fair it gives some of the most powerful buffs in the game alongside a massive Party-Wide heal.

Finally there is Kratos' Shinning Bind (For some reason localized as Holy Binds in this game even though every other game uses Shinning Bind, including the game's sequel, and it is very clearly written as シャイニング・バインド) which is pretty cool and has relatively lax activation conditions (All you need to do is unequip a specific Weapon from Lloyd or not have him in the Party and be in Over Limit), but due to reasons that will soon become apparent he never used it in my playthrough... or most playthroughs really.

Anyhow, back to the plot. As you'd expect, as we leave the temple, Colette ain't feeling so good, but this time she has been given a far bigger punishment: She has become Kenny!

Not in that way! No, what I meant is that she can't speak anymore. She is completely mute now...

At night, Sheena realizes it'd probably be a good time to explain what her deal is, though by this point Raine has figured out she's not from Sylvarant. Indeed, she is from another world named Tethe'alla, basically a world that somehow exist in the same yet different planes of existence, kinda like light and darkness... and indeed that's how it works: If one world's better off, the other one's going to hell. The world regeneration if basically just a glorified way to reverse each world's mana flow. If the journey succeeds, Tethe'alla is screwed. If they fail, Sylvarant is screwed.

Nobody is really happy about this, Lloyd and Sheena especially, but there's really nothing else they can do. As they are now, if they wanna save someone... someone else will have to suffer because of it. Colette will try asking her "Father" for help... but the chances of this working are... well...

Anyhow, at the very least we should go get that unicorn. Unfortunately, there's an extra condition: An Unicorn can only be touched by a pure maiden.

Err... Raine, what did you do? I mean, yeah, maybe it's just her masking her fear of water, but isn't the wording just a tad too specific?

Anyhow, the unicorn confuses Colette for Martel (The reasons are explained later) but ultimately recognizes her as the Chosen of Regeneration and gives her the horn... and then it dies. Okay then... anyhow, they could use it to fix Angel Toxiocis, but it's a one-use item so Colette ultimately decides to let Pietro have it. To be fair, we did go here to save him. At the very least, with this Unicorn's death, another one is born. Hopefully said Unicorn doesn't have to face Christopher Lee and a Flaming Bull-thing.

And hey, now Raine knows Resurrection which... yeah, what it does is pretty self explanatory. And indeed she uses it on Pietro, saving him at last. He tells us also about the Angelus Project, though not the details, and that the Evil Desians are building a Mana Canon which... yeah, what it does is self-explanatory too.

Before proceeding with the main story, I chose to take a small detour and go back some previous dungeons to get some extra Summons, each of them located in a previous dungeon. Starting with:

Sylph:

CV: Shioyama Yuka, Matsuoka Mika and Mizushiro Rena/Debi Mae West, Nika Futterman and Hunter Austin

If you thought Undine was bad, you ain't seen nothing yet. This sucker is three mini-bosses in one and it's as annoying as you'd expect it to be. I hope you brought some gels and Life Bottles, 'cause this will most certainly take some time.

But hey, the next one can't be too hard... right?

Efreet:

CV: Inada Tetsu/Keith Szarabajka

Yeah, he's a bit easier. He's basically just the fire version of Undine, so if you can bet her, you can beat him. Hell, he's arguably easier by value of having a bigger hit box than Undine! So overall, not too hard.

However there are two more things to do. Firstly I went back to Lloyd's house so that Dirk can give him an Exsphere shard along with some other goodies. The second was go to that tunnel in the Ossa Trail. Not just to get some treasure... but also for this ugly asshole.

Sword Dancer:

Doesn't seem too threatening...

Well, you'd be wrong. There are three encounters with him, and while this one is the easiest, he will take you down if you aren't prepared. As his name implies, he is purely into CQC, and so he will decimate you if you enter his range and you aren't careful. I did ultimately take him down, but it was not by any means an easy fight.

Anyhow, back to the main plot. Our heroes manage to convince some dude to let them use his dragons to get to the tower, but before that its time to rest and talk to the rest. In particular, Sheena mentions that there's a Chosen in Tethe'alla too and that he's not a particularly trustworthy fellow.

Have I mentioned Sheena is Best Girl?

But yeah, the time to end it all is coming. Colette and Lloyd talk for a bit, her admitting she's a bit scared, but that from her point of view, even if it dies, her life will be spread towards the rest of the world. Which really just summarizes her whole deal of coping with this, to just become a martyr and accept all the suffering in the world for the sake of others... even if it means sacrificing her own happiness.

At night, Kratos suddenly wakes up and goes out, with Lloyd following him. And then Kratos asks Noshie to take care of Lloyd for a bit longer. You know, people whine that the OVA made this twist way more obvious than in the game, but the game wasn't exactly subtle about it either, but more on that later.

What does matter is that the blue haired dude who doesn't have a mustache shows up and tries to sneak attack Kratos, but Lloyd stops this.

The assassin retreats, with Kratos then telling Lloyd one simple thing: Don't die. Naturally he's really confused, but whatever. That said the Assassin did drop some weird ring for some reason. I bet this will not be important at all unless you do a specific side quest.

But alas, the time for the finale has come: Cue the epic music!

Huh, that's weird, my "Epic Music For The Finale" Generator is not working correctly. I wonder why that is... eh, I'll just have to fix it.

But yeah, they set off in their dragons. Kratos goes with Colette (He is the one getting paid for this, after all) but Lloyd gets to choose who he goes with. You all know who I picked. Lloyd even assures Sheena that they will find a way to save both worlds. Daww...

Also Kratos and Colette went in early.

Will you press it?

Oh and there are a bunch of floating graves in the tower. This doesn't seem fishy at all...

And so, Lord Ass-Ramiel reveals the last thing Colette must sacrifice: Her heart and memories. Yeah in case you couldn't tell already, THIS JOURNEY WAS A REALLY BAD IDEA!! And Colette knew about that too and flat out asked Raine not to tell anyone. Now, Lord Asshole (Yeah I'm not even gonna bothering censoring that even more) claims it's not really dying, just giving her body to the Goddess Martel, but fuck if Lloyd cares about that shit! Oh sure, maybe both worlds will be saved, but if there's one thing this game enforces above all else, it is this: The ends do not, and shall never justify the means.

Oh and Asshole isn't even Colette's father. Everyone thought that and he just went "Sure, let's go with it". After all, they are nothing but... inferior beings. You know, the same thing the Evil Desians call everyone else.

And so, after a pretty tear-jerking goodbye... Colette sacrifices herself.

A scene that would work a heck of a lot better if that little thing down there wasn't there to tell us Colette has learned Judgement. Oh and speaking of that:

But yeah, Colette is now gone... so... who's up for some payback?

Lord Asshole:

CV: Sakaguchi Tetsuo/Wally Wingert

Nothing too special, but make sure your Spellcasters have some solid defenses, as he can snipe them. Otherwise though? Yeah, punching this asshole in the face hits really good.

Yet in the end it's a bittersweet end... for as, as Kratos points out, Colette is still lacking her soul. Oh yeah, Kratos is here, I guess. He's an angel too, by the way, and Lord Asshole's superior. Time to beat his ass, I guess.

Well, easier said than done. Thankfully you don't have to win this fight, but if possible try to do so, as he leaves some very good items if you beat him. Though as it ends Lloyd can tell he was holding back. However... let's just say Kratos has a superior of his own.

Yes my friends, this is the leader of Cruxis this game's true antagonist and one behind the Evil Desians: Lord Yggdrasil. And as I mentioned in Part 1, the Dub for some reason mispronounced his name as "Ygg-DRA-sil" instead of "Ygg-dra-SIL". I know the former is the Japanese spelling, but that's Japanese, this is English. Still better than calling him "King Drasil" though...

He is a hopeless boss fight, so don't even bother with him, especially since Kratos likely made you waste a lot of your resources. He will spam the hell Light Artes though, so there's that...

But yeah, the Party is wasted, with Lloyd even thrown to a pillar with some... random magical sword. However reinforcements arrive in the form of... Botta!?

Okay, shit just got interesting.

Botta takes them out of there, though loses some men in the process. Yggdrasil refers to them as Renegades, and then leaves, and so does Kratos... but not before this:

If you haven't figured out the twist already, shame on you for not doing so.

Sometime later, Lloyd wakes up in the Triet base. Colette is still a soulless husk, but she's thankfully fine otherwise. They also start to think of what to do, given that by this point they know two things: 1) The Evil Desians are probably Cruxis' pawns, and 2) Kratos was using them all along. So yeah, such a happy day alright.

Their leader, whom I shall from now on call by his actual name of Yuan, explains that basically Cruxis is the one that controls everything from behind the scenes, even the church. Most of Cruxis member's are also actually Half-Elves who have evolved with something called the Cruxis Crystal. Oh, and Tethe'alla? Yggdrasil himself created that world.

As for why they wanted to kill Colette, that's simple: They couldn't let Martel gain a vessel, so they had to kill her. Sadly now Colette is stuck in self-defense mode, so even touching her is a bad idea. So what are they gonna do? Capture Lloyd of course!

Thankfully the gang manages to escape, mostly because Yuan hasn't healed from the injury he got from Kratos over at Hima. After some puzzles, the gang just wonders what the hell they should do now. However Raine has an idea. She asks Sheena from where she got her Exsphere, and she tells her she got it from some institute... and also that the Renegades were the ones that told them to kill Colette.

However, this does give them a chance. Since Angels are Half-Elves evolved through Cruxis Crystal... maybe those guys can do something about Colette's own Cruxis Crystal. I mean, they're already researching the other Chosen's Cruxis Crystal, so Colette's should be more of the same thing. Mind you they need some machines called Rheairds, but so long as they can find them, they're set to go. And wouldn't you know, the Renegades have a few of them.

And thus, it's off to a brand new world... which we will cover next time.

Light Novel Review: A Certain Magical Index, Volume 1: The one part that actually focuses on the title character.

Light Novels... yeah, bar a select few I'm not a fan. In general, I'd tended to notice most of them are amateurish in terms of the quality of writing, and so many of them are just the same shit over and over again. Often times, they seem like the kind of stuff that I wouldn't mind as a one-shot, but often they go on for longer than that and the initial appeal quickly vanishes. This is not helped by how often they aim for the lowest common denominator, with no depth for me to properly make me care.

It's part of the reason why, in general, I tend to either stick with authors that have garnered legitimate praise from the professionals or just stuff that is weird enough to peak my interest. Otherwise, I'll drop it because it isn't worth my time. Insert SAO Joke here, and no, I don't care if the later Novels are better: I gave it 8 Volumes and bar Volume 7 (Which was honestly pretty decent) it squandered any potential the premise might've had. Also, Log Horizon did it better anyways.

Which in turn brings us to Toaru Majitsu No Index, by Kamachi Kazuma. Given all of what I've said, the very fact that I took a look at this may seem baffling... and you're right. So, what inspired me to Read it? Well...

Yup, leave it to my all time favorite Light Novel, Durarara!!, to make me interested. This scene wasn't in the Novel, but it's so in-character for this guy it might as well have been. To see Kadota Kyohei, the only man in the main party to have any shred of normalcy (Bar Celty, but that's besides the point) enjoy this, I was like "Wait, is it really any good?". And so, once I got some free time as I was going on a trip, I read the first Volume on on an airplane ride flight and... yeah, this is how I got into this mess. That said, it'll also become clear why I stuck through with this series whereas others I dropped. Thus, let us get into the beginning of a series... that probably got just a few too many spin-offs.

Our tale begins with our hero running away from a gang of delinquents. Oh and speaking of him:

Meet Kamijou Touma, the guy with no luck
but lots of misfortunes

FYI, I'm using illustrations from later Novels to introduce some of these guys, so they may look a bit weird compared to ones from earlier Novel's I'll also be showing. Unfortunately the Anime is stuck with the earlier designs.

To be more exact, said delinquents don't exactly have running gear and are totally drunk, so after a while he does manage to shake them off. He's a pretty good sprinter as we come to learn, so while dealing with this is a massive hassle, it does end after a while... but not before PikaPika-Tan is there to give him nightmares.

Actual Name: Misaka Mikoto. In spite of being Second Best Girl,
 the author has her stuck in her school uniform.

Yeah, let's wind back a bit. Before this mess started Kamijou went to buy some Manga and found some delinquents surrounding her. But he didn't do so to save her, oh no, he wanted to save them. Bitch's freaking scary yo! Oh and she's a blood knight too, for good measure, so yeah, he ain't shaking her off.

The Narration then gives us some exposition. The Location is Academy City, in which, in the narrator's own word, people are turned into Manga Protagonists (AKA Espers). Well, more like 40% of them anyways. The remaining 60% can't even bend a damn spoon without making their blood vessels burst out.

Misaka then gives us a science lesson about Railguns. She then uses a coin to show what it'd be like to get shot by one. Okay, he doesn't shoot it to him, but the point still stands! Either way, yeah, she's an electromaster, and then she then decides to shoot some lightning at him, and he's hit by it... and he's totally fine.

Actually it's the opposite. Plus Kamijou is an actually decently written character, who while not great is leaps and bounds better than freaking Dumbluck. Plus, Kamijou has the better catchphrase that better summarizes his luck. Here are some uses of it:

Mind you, he does get lucky sometimes, but from his point of view the very fact he got into the situation in the first place negates whatever good luck he may have in the actual events.

Anyhow, the actual reason for that is Kamijou's right hand. For whatever reason it, nicknamed "Imagine Breaker", which is actually written as "Illusion Killer" (I love double meanings), can negate anything that is remotely supernatural in origin.

Actually the whole double meaning thing pops up a lot. For instance 超電磁砲 is read as "Railgun" but is written as "Super Electromagnetic Cannon". I'll try to point out other examples of this as we see them.

Either way, the day ends an Kamijou is safe as he goes back home. And with home I mean his shitty apartment. Oh well, like all Japanese Men, he loves his Futon, so he needs to go get it from his balco-wait, why is there a Sister there?

I guess that's a way to start things off.

This is Index (Yes, that's her actual name), who might just win the prize for being one of the most annoying female leads out there! Thank goodness she has her screentime cut after a while... yes, the Female Lead had to get her screentime cut, she's that irrelevant even though she's the title character!

Anyhow, she introduces himself to Kamijou and the guy has naturally zero idea what's going on. Oh and before that she bit Kamijou's hand. This is a running gag, and while mildly amusing at first, it quickly loses its luster.

Anyhow, she says she's a Magician from the Anglican Church, she was in his balcony because she fell from a roof, and she's being chased by someone. Thankfully her clothes are basically a barrier so at least physically she's fine. Anyhow she's being chased by a Magic Cabal and-hold on, does this make any sense to you all? It doesn't? Well guess what, Kamijou also has no idea what she's talking about. Sadly, this brings me to a big issue some of these Volumes face: Expositions dumps! Now, often these are necessary for a plot, and so long as they are interesting I wouldn't mind them, but when you put one this early on it feels tiresome. We barely know our heroes for pete's sake!

Whatever the case may be, in spite of being a Magician Index can't use Magic. That said the reason they're after her is because she's the one that holds the 103000 Grimoires, hence her name as all the information is literally stored in her brain. That said she quickly proves herself to be rather smug by saying Kamijou can't even bend a spoon, when SHE'S A MAGICIAN WHO CAN'T USE MAGIC!!

Basically she's a bad example on how to do a Tsundere, and I'll just leave it at that.

Anyways, we find out the Imagine Breaker isn't an Esper Power. Apparently he's just always had it. He also reiterates the point of it being able to negate all the supernatural things, even as far as to say that the Miracles Of God are nothing to it. The resident Sister naturally scoffs at this (Though as we later find out, as a Sister she sucks at her job) and Kamijou, tired of all this crap, decides to just show her that he's not the one saying bullcrap.

Index is eager on the challenge, even saying he should try it out on her outfit, which is actually magical (Even has a cute name: The Walking Church). Kamijou does so, and her clothes explode, leaving her naked... which also gets a special illustration.

In the interest of good taste, I will not show this image. Which leads me to wonder WHAT THE HELL!? I mean, people whine about the sheer amount of fanservice in NisiOisiN's works and... okay, he too is pretty gratuitous at points, but at least his works are so riddled with allegories and symbolism that you could argue they in some way mean something, and at least there the main character is an unashamed pervert. Also, THEY DON'T ILLUSTRATE THESE SCENES!!

Here however? It's all for the sake of gags, and it gets old fast, especially this nude crap. The only time it was funny was in a scene in Volume 12 and maybe one in Volume 1, both which I'll be covering when I get there, but besides those two times? Yeah, not at all. What's sad is that the Novels' one-off gags are usually pretty funny all things considered, it's just the recurring ones that tend to fall flat in my eyes. You can only do the same joke so many times before I get sick of it.

... But to be fair, I don't mind it in this one case.

As tasteless as the joke is, I'm willing to let it slide here because it does have a point in the narrative. The fact that the Walking Church has been destroyed pops up a few other times, and it has been used for some decent drama at times. So, in this one case I'm letting it slide... plus the worst stretch of fanservice comes in Volumes 6-11 anyways.

But yeah, this confirms that at least some of what Index said isn't complete and utter crap. She tries to put the thing back together with come safety pins and it kinda works, but ultimately she leaves as, well, Kamijou would probably get caught in the crossfire of the crap she's going through otherwise. Oh and she also points out that... well, technically speaking since the Imagine Breaker negates the supernatural... it means it's also why he has such lack of luck.

See? This series can have good jokes when it wants too.

We also get some background on Academy City, with it having been built on the Western District of Tokyo, and how (As it name implies) it's pretty much entirely comprised of schools. So really most people live in dorms... well, basically everyone.  Also, a whooping 80% of the population are students, the remaining 20% being higher ups, teachers and law enforcement... the latter of which has a lot of people that have both professions, as we eventually come to learn.

Either way, Index leaves and we cut to Kamijou being in school. It must also be mentioned that all Espers are actually ranked. Specifically, they are ranked from Levels 0-5, with them ranging from "Can barely bend a spoon" to "Freaks of nature". The previously mentioned Misaka was a Level 5 (The #3 no less) whereas Kamijou and most if not all of his classmates are Level 0. It must also be said that all law enforcement and teachers are straight up non-Espers... in spite of the impression Kamijou's Teacher leaves.

Behold, the FBI's worst nightmare!

This is Tsukuyomi Komoe, who legitimately is 30 years old. No, I'm not actually kidding you here. I guess smoking (Because of course she smokes) stunned her growth or something, but there's also a character coming up that has the opposite issue, so besides a gag, God knows why this is the case. We also meet Kamijou's only two other friends: Aogami Pierce (Not his actual name, but whatever) and Tsuchimikado Motoharu, both of whom are massive perverts and potential Lolicons.

Either way, Kamijou is too busy just thinking about Index to focus on his supplementary lessons (Yeah, he tends to skip classes), which does eventually give him some trouble. Later on he walks back home, having another encounter with Misaka along the way. I would like to take this chance to mention that the Novels' early art is hair-pullingly basic. It gets a lot better as time goes on, in particular being able to use the fact that the illustrations are in black and white for some very striking imagery, but stuff like this doesn't really work in early Volumes.

See what I mean?

To give bigger insight into my complaint with this particular image: The brightness in the part Misaka is in is too high, the backgrounds lack detail and the facial expressions feel somehow both over-exaggerated and under-exaggerated and the same time.

Anyways, they have a small scuffle but ultimately Kamijou is still distracted by what happened earlier with Index, and even then he makes it out  unharmed as really when facing someone who relies so heavily on supernatural powers it's basically a guaranteed win for him. When that isn't the case... well, more on that later on. Though honestly, were it not for the fact that Misaka eventually becomes a recurring character, you'd end up wondering why this scene was even in this Novel.

He eventually does leave however, later on arriving at the hallway of his dorm and finding some cleaning robots circling around trying to clean something. Specifically Index, of course. She probably collapsed from hunger after all. It would explain why she doesn't seem to react to the robots or why she's resting in a... giant... pool... of blood...

Well... that escalated quickly. And indeed, once he moves the robots away. A new figure appears. I should mention Index is 15 right now, though this hasn't been said yet. A man eventually comes and the narration explicitly says that, in spite of being 2 meters tall, said man is probably around 14, having a somewhat youthful face.

So let me show you the fine picture of a 14 year old.

Oi! Oi!

Oh and he smokes too. Apparently there was some miscommunication between the artist (Haimura Kiyotaka) and Kamachi, so Haimura was left with the impression this guy was older than Kamijou (Who's 16, by the way). At the very least his Voice Actor in the Anime kinda made him sound his age... oh and I'm using an Illustration by Kogino Chuuya here rather than Haimura like I have been for everyone else because Chuuya's art rocks, but more on that when I get to looking at Index's Manga (Which should happen after I Review Volume 6, but that's for later).

Either way, this is Stiyl Magnus (Yeah, Kamachi's naming sense is ridiculous. Actual native speakers have said his Japanese names aren't much better), and indeed he is a Magician looking for Index. Kamijou, blaming himself for this, asks why the hell they injured Index to begin with. Stiyl points out that it wasn't actually him who attacked her but rather someone named Kanzaki, but anyhow, the reason they want her is because the Grimoires in her head. Basically she has literally perfect memory, thus had all the information shown to her and, well, she can't really forget it.

Technically speaking, this is actually kind of based off a real life concept known as Eidetic Memory, the ability to recall something with absurdly high precision. Though it would also be more accurate to say she has photographic memory, given that she's able to remember texts, numbers and the like in greater detail. That said, true photographic memory doesn't exist, but hey, this is more or less just a real concept exaggerated, so I can accept that... mostly.

Anyhow, it becomes clear Stiyl is a firebender, which mea-

... Okay, I'll admit I had that one coming.

Anyhow, yeah, he creates a sword made of flames, and Kamijou freaks out over whether or not the Imagine Breaker will work as technically he hasn't used it in anything that isn't an Esper power... apparently having forgotten that HE DESTROYED A MAGICAL SET OF CLOTHES WITH IT!!

Did I mention the writing of the early Index Volumes can sometimes be on the sloppy side of things?

Whatever the case may be, it does ultimately work, and Stiyl totally freaks out over this sudden event. Eventually he's forced to use his trump card, Innocentius, a giant fire titan that is surely badass as hell, like some hype as fuck Summon from Final Fantasy. This is what Haimura's sketches show him as:

Hard to believe he's come such a long way as an artist, to be honest...

But yeah, it strikes at Kamijou, yet surprisingly the Imagine Breaker doesn't auto negate it. Well, it does, but the moment it's negated it automatically revives. So basically he's done for. Thankfully Index wakes up and begins speaking in a weirdly calm voice. She explains that there's been runes put all around the place and so long as those remain, Innocentius won't disappear.

Kamijou barely manages to escape. He considers calling Anti-Skill (Basically Academy City's police) and run away, but ultimately decides not to do so. Still though, he does ask himself a pretty understandable question: Why hasen't the fire alarm turned on yet? Ah, you can just feel the lightbulb turning on in his brain.

And so the fire alarms in the building all turned on. Naturally this doesn't do anything to the giant fire summon... but it does work for all the paper runes in the building. Thus, Innocentius is officially innocent of burning anything down as Kamijou just one-shots it before punching Stiyl into unconsciousness.

... What? did you think I'd do a Falcon Punch Joke? Nah, that's for Volume 15.

Ah, your anger gives me so much joy...

Either way, Kamijou gets Index out of there. He obviously can't take her to an ambulance (She doesn't have an ID), so he asks if there's anything in those books that can help her. There is but Kamijou's power prevents him from using it... no, not the Imagine Breaker, I mean his Esper powers. Even for a Level 0, the alterations done to Espers make it so using Magic is a really bad idea. We'll see why next Volume.

Of course, so long as they aren't espers, they can use Magic, which leads Kamijou to taking her to Komoe. And he knew her address because Aogami had it. Why did Aogami have it? I dunno, maybe he's God or something. But yeah, her room is naturally a mess of beer and cigarettes. See? Told ya she was 30.

But yeah, she tricks her into helping out, after which we get a really long scene detailing the whole healing process. I'm gonna skip over it, not because it's gross or anything, but because it takes a while before it ends and we need to get going to the rest of the book given that we're barely halfway through.

Once it's all over, Index's symptoms have reduced to what's basically a cold, although knowing Japan this still seems pretty lethal to me. Kamijou tries to lie his way out of Komoe's questions but let's face it, Kamijou's a pretty bad liar. Either way, he manages to at least convince her to not tell the authorities about this little event. Also, Index explains it'd be really dangerous to ask her to use Magic again, so they won't be able to do this little stunt again.

We get some exposition about the history of the church, and also reiterate the fact that Index is basically a bomb with all the content in her head. The actual grimoires aren't what matter, it's the content, and Index has literally all of it. Should someone ever acquire such power they'd be able to twist reality to their whims, a Magic God (Not Demon God as Yen Press' official release calls it) as she calls them. But what are the chances of ever running into one, huh!?

But yeah, Kamijou ultimately earns her trust in a scene that's kinda preachy but it could be worse (And it will get worse). That said, the two are still being observed by Stiyl and the previously mentioned Kanzaki, full name revealed to be Kanzaki Kaori. They have some ominous dialogue and foreshadowing but that's besides the point. Honestly, when I first read this scene I expected this to start happening.

We cut ahead a few days, with Kamijou and Index going to a bathhouse. They have a small conversation that eventually leads to Index pointing out that as far as she remembers she's always been in Japan, explaining why she can speak Japanese so well... except not as she then points out that apparently she only came to Japan a year ago. I say apparently as, guess what? She has amnesia!

After a few unfunny jokes the two continue to make their way towards the bathhouse and Index ends up walking ahead. In the way though, Kamijou notices that he hasn't really seen anyone around... and he's right as he's literally all alone bar one lady in the distance who does not look friendly.

Proto Boobie Lady: She may not be a MILF, but
does posses a supreme Onee-Sama energy.

This is the previously mentioned Kanzaki. I forgot to mention that all Magicians have Magic Names that when said often means a declaration to a duel to the death, yet Kanzaki refuses to do so. The fight goes on for a while, so let me re-establish a little something. You know how I said that anyone who has an extreme over-reliance on supernatural powers is pretty much screwed against Kamijou a lot of the time? Well, that does ask the question: What about people like that who don't just rely on those powers?

The answer is simple: He's screwed.

Kanzaki just mops the floor with him. We eventually find out she's flat out superhuman and it shows. Kamijou doesn't land a single blow on her, in fact his only shot was using the Imagine Breaker to destroy that sword of hers... which fails because that's just a regular sword, so yeah, he bleeds a lot for doing something like that. All the while she just calmly tells him to give up.

Kamijou then just tells her to shut up and that, well she's making no sense. She's hesitating to kill him right now, yet before she didn't even hesitate to nearly kill Index. That she has all the power in the world and she's doing nothing to help her. Kanzaki's answer? Simple. Firstly she didn't mean to kill Index (She thought her clothes' shield still worked) and secondly and most importantly, if she doesn't do this... Index will die.

She explains that 85% of Index's brain possesses the 103000 grimoires, all the while the remaining 15% is for her actual memories. However her perfect memory makes it so she can't discard any useless information, so that remaining 15% fills up in a year and her memories must be deleted, otherwise there'll be too much junk in her brain and won't be able to function.

Oh how have I been waiting for this. To put it bluntly: THE HUMAN BRAIN DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT!! Here's the thing, the human brain has different kind of memories. In this case, the knowledge of the Grimoires would probably occupy her semantic memory, all the while the memories they're talking about would be episodic memory. Now we're never told exactly how Index came to know the contents of the grimoires, so we don't know if she just calmly read them or had all of it forced onto her brain at once. The latter could've caused some brain damage, but even then, it's not as if one kind of memory can overwhelm the other! To put it bluntly, Kanzaki? You're full of shit!

Kamijou however isn't being the most helpful either. He says that if she actually cared about Index, she should've tried out to see some help from someone else, maybe even asking the Science people, but the scene just goes on and on and on and on and on until it's firmly worn out its welcome. Kamijou's speech in particular could've had a few lines cut and nothing would've changed! His little speech is by far the worst part in this Novel and a demonstration of Kamachi's inexperience at the time of writing.

Ugh, whatever, rant over. Kanzaki knocks him out. Kamijou does eventually wake up... 3 days later at least. His wounds are gonna take a bit to heal but he's otherwise fine. Also, remember that thing I mentioned that Index was acting weirdly calm? Yeah, she refers to that as having "Awakened", but whatever. After a mildly amusing joke of Index trying to feed Kamijou, Komoe comes in with the other two Magicians. Index insists on them just taking her on the grounds that Kamijou is left alone, but they dismiss it.

No, instead they give Kamijou a warning before leaving: There is only 12 Hours and 38 Minutes left. Still though, for Kamijou it is quite the tricky thing to do because... well, he doesn't really feel all too comfortable with the idea of erasing her memories. And to be fair to him, I can understand that. Now if only he could understand that maybe Kanzaki and Stiyl were feeling the same way, but to be honest that is an actual character trait of his: He doesn't care why you may be doing it, if you're messing up someone else's life that excuse does not matter.

Anyways, at night Kanzaki calls him, telling him of some extra conditions and also telling him she's willing to give him a bit more time so that he properly say goodbye, somewhat trying to comfort him by telling him that she has been in this situation before and that when she was told this, she at least tried to make what little time they had left worth it once she realized there was no magical solution to this. Kamijou however asks why she didn't bother just trying to find a way to save Index from a scientific point of view. Frankly I can explain why with the following image:

For the record, yes, the higher ups in Academy City are amoral enough to do this.

He still scoffs at it, and... yeah, these parts are what drag the story down for me. I get what Kamijou is saying, and to an extent kinda agree with it, but the problem ultimately lies in that, well, this is pretty much a repetition of his fight with Kanzaki, at least on the verbal side of things. And again, the scene drags on for longer than it actually needs to.

Which is sad because the ensuing moment of Kamijou trying to find a solution only to realize he's out of time is pretty well done. It's brief and doesn't overstate its welcome, yet accomplishes what it sets out to do quite well. That's why early Index is so frustrating: There's a lot of good stuff, but you have to deal with a ton of bad stuff as well.

However, we then start getting into the part that actually did end up making me like this Novel in spite of its issues.

Stiyl and Kanzaki comes in, with Kamijou once again trying to make them give him a bit more time. Stiyl, however, just brings him towards Index to show him in how much pain she's in right now, and just asks him one thing: Can he truly see her like this and take such a massive gamble? By this point all of his excuses are shut down, and Kamijou feels truly powerless. God's Miracle's are nothing to him, but this one girl right in front of him is one he can do nothing to help.

And so, Stiyl does agree to one thing: He does give him time to say goodbye. And indeed, in spite of my dislike of Index, the following scene is truly touching, with Kamijou promising lots of things to her he knows he probably won't be able to give her when all is said and done. And indeed, notices how bullcrap it is that 15% of her brain can only hold one year of memori-Wait, what?

He... he notices how strange this is as, well, otherwise she would've died when she was 7... and asks Komoe over the phone... and says basically the same thing I said earlier. The Novel... admitted that was bullcrap!?

This... this was the scene that sold me on the series. The ability to create bullcrap science that doesn't make sense is one  thing. The fact that they're willing to go and say "Yeah, that's bullcrap" makes me forgive the previous bout of stupidity. Well, not so much Kamijou's rambling, but Kanzaki and Stiyl? All is forgiven.

But yeah, now that Kamijou knows the Church were just manipulating the other two, it's time to take action. But how, exactly? I mean, Kamijou has touched Index many times before. Through some logic I don't entirely understand, Kamijou realizes it must be on the back on her throat... and all of the sudden she turns into what is later Dubbed her "John's Pen" Mode.

I mean, that's the impression this leaves me.

Well, okay, that's not actually accurate. It's actually a self-defense mode in case anyone should figure out that the memory thing is all a ruse that makes zero sense. To put it in the simplest terms possible, it turns her into a Murakumo Unit before Murakumo Units were even a thing to begin with.

You know, mentioning that has made nothing
but remind me of how much better a character Noel is.

Mind you, this does make Kamijou realize the whole "Can't use Magic" thing is also a lie, so basically now it's all a matter of getting that damn hand close to her. Easier said than done since now she's throwing stuff like pillars of light, which are hard to even Negate completely. Stiyl and Kanzaki come in, and a quick explanation from Kamijou plus the scene in front of them is enough to make them realize they've been fooled, thus finally assisting our protagonist.

Even Kanzaki joins the fun, revealing her Magic Name: Salvare000... yeah given her backstory as revealed in Volume 4, I can see why she may not be a fan of it. Oh and we're also explained that the pillars of Light are equivalent to the power of the breath of the Dragon of St George. For those not in the know, said dragon looked like this:

So powerful even a 1* Servant had some problems with him!

Still though he does make his way through eventually, but there's a slight problem. See, there's some feathers of light falling from the sky the moment he was damn close to Index. Kamijou knows they are probably really dangerous, yet at the same time knows this is gonna be his one chance to save Index. So, he does the most unambiguously heroic thing he's done the whole story, finally destroying the damn thing that's been ruining Index's life... and being hit by a shit ton of magic in the process. This... this is the death of Kamijou Touma.

A few days later:

Yeah, we aren't done yet. We see Index in a hospital with a character I shall from now on refer to as Doctor Geckota. She has a letter with her too, which has Stiyl being a massive Tsundere towards Kamijou. Speaking of Kamjou, how is he?

Well... as the doors open to his room... he has amnesia. A bunch of his brain cells were fried, so his background is a complete blank. He does not even remember Index in the slightest. The story of the girl who was cursed to lose her memories ends with her savior suffering the same fate in a cruel twist of dramatic irony... or is it!?

Nah! He's fine. He did lose his memories for a while, but since it is Magical Damage, the Imagine Breaker can just negate it. Index is understandably not happy, and after biting him some more, leaves the room so that Kamijou can finish healing up. Well, way to ruin a perfectly ironic ending.

Except not really. As he admits to Doctor Geckota, he really does have amnesia. He's just lying so as not to make Index Worry. As said before, the old Kamijou Touma is dead, and this new guy just got told what happened from the Doctor, who was told the basics by Kanzaki and Stiyl. Pre-Amnesia Kamijou ain't comming back, and the new one can't help but see what had been told to him as almost like reading a diary of someone else.

Still though.. it was an enjoyable yet heartbreaking one. So he's decided to live the life the old Kamijou Touma left behind. And hey, if there's one thing he's sure off,  even if he's forgotten the actual events, the feelings that he had are certainly still there.

And that ends the first Volume of A Certain Magical Index. It's got its flaws and overall it's just barely okay, but you know what? It did show promise. Compared to, say, Kawahara Reki, who bar the initial concept his writing is often uninspired and not interesting at all, Kamachi at least shows the minimum level of competence, and most of the issues can be ultimately boiled down to simple inexperience.

And while this was a nice ending... it's clear there's more to this story than what only this shows. After all, what was up with that Bug Zapping Middle Schooler? What is even going on in Academy City? And of course, how will this new Kamijou Touma adapt to the life given to him? All of that, my friends, is for some other day.